Overcoming Childhood Trauma, Embracing Vulnerability, and Redefining Success

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Welcome to the let's Get Naked podcast Today.

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I'm very excited to be getting naked with Tyler.

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I'm not going to give any other introduction besides his first name.

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You can figure him out later and Google all what he brings to the table.

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But he came in hot this morning with some stuff that's going on in his life and we were already starting to talk about it, and so I just wanted to get right into that.

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So welcome, tyler.

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Yeah thank you, yeah, so glad.

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Yeah, yeah, so I just walked in the door from the street.

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That's why there's no introduction.

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Exactly, exactly, right.

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Exactly so Tyler and I were talking about, you know, kind of small businesses and some of the work that Tyler does and maybe you can share a little bit about that and then we can talk about you know, some of the stuff that we were just talking about prior to starting to record, and then we'll get into some of the deeper stuff after that.

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But I think this is really good content for what we deal with on a day-to-day and what kind of our missions are and how you do get kind of kicked down a little bit and stuff and start to question yourself when those things happen.

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Yeah, you know, like you've actually had me thinking a lot more about this.

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You know, lately in in like some of the content that you've been discussing and artists, conversations and stuff, and it's like it all does go back to youth, right, like a lot of your issues, a lot of things that are a chip on your shoulder.

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You know, I've been thinking about like that this morning and it's about being vulnerable and I've told you I'm willing to be vulnerable, like there hasn't always been moments that I'm proud of myself, right, and there's moments like in your youth, you know, it's like you always see those stories.

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It's like I stood up to the bad guy.

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You know, at 14 years old, this stepdad I had a horrible stepdad, you know, but he was a fucking monster looking guy 250 pounds, jagged teeth, hands like oven mitts I'm not even kidding you, you know, and I would stand up to him verbally in some ways.

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But you know, like you see those Saturday afternoon specials and it's like they always are be able to be their hero.

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You know, it's like and so like, but 110 pounds, you know, like five foot tall.

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You know it's like it wasn't always easy to be the hero.

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Or you know, like in my youth watching and it still draws a memory I'm such an animal lover watching these kids drown a squirrel and being too scared, you know to say anything about it.

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You know, and it's like, and that's embarrassing, you know Now, like I built myself into somebody that doesn't stand for those things, that wouldn't be afraid, you know.

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It's like I think that you have to like become the things that you wish you could have been, you know.

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Or like I had a person on our bully podcast, you know, that said, um, be the hero you wish you had.

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Right.

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And so I think, like a lot of you've had me thinking about this a lot.

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It's like you know the things that you wish you could have had.

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You know when you were younger.

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You develop if you want to.

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Right Cause now like I'll stand up to anybody anytime, anywhere.

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A monster ugly dude that was my mom's boyfriend, no problem.

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He's not, you know, not a problem anymore.

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Like you're not drowning a squirrel on my watch, you know.

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And so like I realized that, like life has come become a lot of those passions, because that's deep, deep seated, like being almost hand tied in your own mind Right and not having the power to do those things you can develop this, you know.

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You can develop a big body.

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You can develop like mixed martial arts talents and you know, like things like that.

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And then like you have to make the switch here, you know, in the growth and you know things like that and then you become like, and then you as much as it's embarrassing and I wish I could flip a coin then you become the things that you like need to be, should be right, and that for me is now like being a protector.

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Yes, I find myself in the exact same situation.

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You know, I was not that growing up and I don't know what it was.

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I've been doing a lot of soul searching to figure out.

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When did that switch for me?

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Because we were talking about.

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You know, I'm not so so defensive about defending myself.

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I am right, I'll defend myself all day, but where it really like gets my myself I am right I'll defend myself all day but we're really like gets my, gets my juices flowing is when I'm defending somebody else, because it fucking pisses me off.

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You know, it's that whole bully stuff that we talk about and it's like not happening.

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You know, when somebody is trying to take advantage of a friend or trying to whatever, I literally go from zero to 10.

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I mean, we were dealing with that this past week with Belinda on some stuff that she's dealing with on a real estate deal, and I just I felt like she was being taken advantage of and it pissed me off like nobody's business.

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Now, if I was in a transaction and I wasn't I would have stayed calm, I would have handled my business, I would have still like stood up for myself, but it wouldn't bring that out in me, which I find to be completely funny.

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It does come back from where we were raised.

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I had a sister that was really close to me in age who I didn't defend, right.

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I was the one that with the friends when we were in fourth and fifth grade I would make fun of her with them and I look back at that as an adult and think how shameful.

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That is right, but I was so starved to fit in with that group because we moved schools and like all of the things that I banded with the bullies to bully my sister, you know, and it's like I look back at that and I'm ashamed of that, you know.

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So, like you said, we do things that are you're not proud of, but you can change that.

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I want to be the, the woman in life who helps young girls, who they can come to, because I didn't have that.

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I didn't have anybody that was a resource to me to speak with about the shit that I was dealing with and the things that I was going through.

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You know, did you have someone when you were younger that you were either a friend or an adult or someone that you were able to talk with some of the stuff that you were dealing with, or was that a?

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No, you're on an island by yourself.

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No, I can't really think of you know anybody I was able to talk to.

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You know it's like father was in prison, mom had horrible boyfriend, you know, and then she had some drug and alcohol problems, that sort of stuff.

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You know, like my brothers and I are close, you know, and so, but then it's like it was kind of like a not spoken thing.

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You didn't talk.

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We still, to this day, you don't talk about that stuff much, right?

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Why do you suppose that is?

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I find that interesting because the same thing, like I think it helps as adults as we talk about these things and say my dad was in jail, my stepdad was an asshole, like all of these things, the more I talk about my traumas from my childhood, the easier and lighter it gets right, and I think when I do that and this leading with vulnerability and other people are more comfortable speaking about the shit that they went through.

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But why do you suppose we don't talk about that?

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I find that to be fascinating.

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I don't know and like I'm out there in the world a lot talking about this stuff and it's been really hard for me, you know.

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Know, it's like you got to and like I learned this recently too.

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It's like, you know, like no wonder I've been so afraid of this camera for so long.

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It's like when you grow up and your father's like hey, talking all this code on the phone and like, hey, we're not going to talk about where we're moving next week.

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Yeah, don't tell anybody your name.

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You know all this stuff.

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And then, like all of a sudden, you start life on the camera.

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No wonder it's hard.

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And so I've gotten to the point where I will share a lot of different things.

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And from that, you know, like a lot of people have opened up to me and I've been able to help them and I started thinking too.

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I'm like why aren't we seeing more people out there like talking about, like going up or growing up with parents in prison and bad circumstances?

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And then, hey, I made it you know, and I was, like and I was like looking why don't we have more of those people?

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But you look at the stats on that, it's like 95%.

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If your parent was incarcerated, you're going yeah, and so the answer probably is there's not enough people making it Right, and that's fucking sad.

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That is sad, or people that just aren't comfortable about speaking about that.

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I think there's a lot of shame associated with stuff that you deal with in childhood Regular abuse, sexual abuse, people where your parents are out to lunch I mean, how old were you when your parents divorced?

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They are not divorced still.

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Okay, but you had a stepdad, yeah, okay.

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So how old were you when your dad went to jail?

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Is that how they like?

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They were together until he went to prison.

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Yeah, and they.

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He went three different times for a total of like 15 years.

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Wow, he was MIA for your childhood.

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Yeah, oh yeah, big time.

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Yeah.

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You know it's interesting.

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I was watching like Cochran Cowboys something the other day and it's like they're talking.

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They went to the worst prison in the country.

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They say in the end of the movie.

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That is the prison I used to go visit my dad at right.

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You know like walking through 15 gates and the man is a nonviolent drug offender.

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It's not like he killed somebody or something you know it's like, but that like, I remember going there.

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I remember spending corners, quarters on popcorn.

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You know it's like we'd only get to go like once every three years Cause we're broke, you know.

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And so, like I remember that stuff, you know it's like, and you know it's like, and that was like, that was, you know, my father, you know so.

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Do you feel like you've like, at what point did you realize that you needed to heal that right and do you feel like you've done the work to heal that that child?

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Because for me I feel like in the trauma that I went through, stuff happened to me.

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I say the loss of the innocence of a child.

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Right, I lost my innocence at eight and so I have had done a lot of work in trauma to go back and walk that little eight-year-old girl through that trauma as the woman that I am now and the woman that I wish that I had to defend me at that age.

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Do you feel like you've gone back and really kind of healed that young boy or do you feel like there's still work to be done on that?

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I mean, I think inevitably there's always work to be done, but there's a big bulk of that that you go back and kind of defend that boy as you're dealing with the trauma of that because you weren't able to deal with it as a child.

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You know what I mean.

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That's pretty traumatic to have to go visit your dad in prison and have that be the thing and have somebody that fits in and fills in as your dad, who's a fucking monster, right, like we're not supposed to do that.

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Look at, do you have children?

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No, okay.

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So I look at my children at those ages and I think the shit that I dealt with it literally will bring me to tears just thinking about that child at that age.

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How old were you when your dad went to prison the first time?

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Oh, five, six, something like that so imagine that right and you don't have enough money to go visit your dad and when you're going to visit him he's in fucking prison.

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Do you know how traumatic that is for a five-year-old Tyler?

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Yeah do you know what I mean?

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Like, have you done the work to heal that stuff?

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Do you feel like you have, do you feel like there's work to be done?

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it's like I'm jumping all over the place, but I'm it's a fucking gift yeah it's a gift because and I talked to a friend and he's kind of different thinker like me he's like Tyler, your dad didn't go to prison for doing something wrong, he went to prison for you and I'm, like you know, kind of taken back and like thinking about that.

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He's like it allows you to do all the good you're doing now.

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And I agree, yeah, that's powerful, yeah.

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It's powerful.

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And so my dad 15 years in prison.

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You know like that's fucking hard Right.

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And I actually, you know, know you've given take from people in life.

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You can't take everything yeah and so there's a couple lessons of pride I have for my dad.

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You know, it's like the man's been through some stuff.

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He's a very liked man, like I've never met anybody that didn't like him, you know, and uh, um, and overall it's like he went for that long because he refused to tell on his friends.

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You know that, and at the end of the day, like that loyalty is lost in this day and age and so I would have loved to have grown up with my father.

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But you know, it's a gift for me now because I use it to help people Right, and then at the same time, it's like I'm proud of him for doing that Right.

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I wouldn't switch the clock and have him tell on all his friends to be around.

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Yeah.

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Cause, like I, I point of pride on loyalty.

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I think it's one of the greatest things you can be in life.

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That's why we love the fucking dog.

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Yeah, yeah, exactly, no, I, I.

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I couldn't agree with you more.

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Do you have a relationship with him now?

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Is he still alive?

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Oh, we're best friends.

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I love it.

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Yeah, he lives here in Arizona.

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No, he, uh, he's all over the place these days, but um, they uh, um, when my dad had first gotten out like he couldn't get a job and so I was in college full-time and working full-time, and he ended up moving in with me and still couldn't get a job.

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But he lived with me for about six years and we got really close.

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And it's like you, gotta, I was pursuing a degree in biochemistry, I was working full-time and then I was restoring cars in my backyard.

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There was zero time for anything else in life and that period of time made us close.

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My dad helped me with meals, he helped me with laundry you know all the things that I didn't have time to do.

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So that was a great um thing for us.

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You know, the other thing that my dad is is he's 75 years old.

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He was also a semi-pro skier too.

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Like people say, he's like one of the greatest skiers they've ever seen and uh, and so like he is a fitness addict, right, and I got that from him too.

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Right, he is like he's out there.

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He's actually in town visiting right now, you know.

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So he's out there right now.

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I guarantee he's rollerblading.

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He's probably done a 30 mile bike ride.

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He's probably lifted weights and he's probably went for a swim already today, you know.

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And people wonder where I get my 26 workout a week habit.

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Yeah, that old man.

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Yeah, you know he's like he's 70, what?

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76 years old and he still does all that every single day.

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I love it, so I love it.

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Yeah, have you had an opportunity to speak with him about any of the stuff that made him who he is, you know from his childhood or otherwise?

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You know, like you start to analyze people and he was actually, uh, the high school like football star he was president of student body class, went to college.

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He was doing everything, perfect, you know, and that was in the area era of the seventies, you know.

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And then, like I think, he rebelled against that perfect persona.

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He didn't want to be that and he became a hippie, you know, playing around with dealing drugs, you know.

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And I think it was a rebellion because he was always this perfect, you know.

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And so I think about how much different life had been because he, you know, in that day too, it was like he was going to college.

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You were a success If you were a white male, if you were going to college, you know, like student body president stuff.

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It's like you're going to be successful in that track, you know, 30, 40 years ago.

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And so I think about how much different life would have been, you know, like a lot different.

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But everything that I'm working on right now, like if I had the perfect background, childhood, you know, I probably wouldn't have the same underlying passions and drive and fire and anger, and um, so I'm, I'm where I'm supposed to be.

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Yeah, no, I think you're absolutely right.

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I think that kind of stuff shapes you.

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You know, I look at some of the stuff that I grew up with and people ask would you have changed something?

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Would you?

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You know, do you have regrets?

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Do you this?

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Not a chance?

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Yeah Right, I'm scrappy, I'm gritty, I'm all of those things because of all of the fucked up.

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You know those traumas and reconcile those in a way where it's like they don't define me.

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Yeah.

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You know, I spent a lot of time thinking it's fine, everything's fine.

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You know, before I got sober it was none of that stuff affects me, you know.

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And then, when I got sober and realized it all affects you you know, and that doesn't mean that you have to be the victim from it because I was very anti, like I'm not the victim of the shit that happened to me, victim of the shit that happened to me.

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I'm not a victim, I don't do that, everything's fine and you can still process your shit without being the victim you know and use that as fuel, right that's the.

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That's the reason why it's like tell me I can't do something.

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Yeah, I'd fucking dare you.

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Oh yeah, you know what I mean.

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Like underestimate me, that'll be fun, you know that's like you're, you're the can't.

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There's such a switch to be turned there because you know, like I Originally like especially the stuff with my dad was really hard and people kind of knew my mom and her reputation too and like her ex-boyfriend and her would smoke like chimneys, right, and so all our clothes smell like smoke.

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Till this day I've still never had a cigarette in my life.

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But I was the bad kid.

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Before I was even able to be the bad kid, I was the bad kid Father in prison.

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You're going to grow up just like your dad.

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Mom's a screw up.

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I was the kid that you didn't want your kids hanging out with because of the family background.

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Walk in smelling like cigarettes and so they figure I'm smoking in the parking lot.

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You know like I took a lot of heat for that.

00:15:08.495 --> 00:15:10.456
If something went missing, I'm not a thief.

00:15:10.696 --> 00:15:33.715
If something went missing, I was the first one called in the office you know, and then, like you know, like my mom would get called in and she had this pauper mentality, like we weren't and it's weird, you know, like the the thing that happens around that it's like we weren't on their level the best way I can describe it as pauper mentality where this pauper mentality, where you like almost the king and the peasants, you know, it's like my mom thought we were on this like lower level, that we weren't almost allowed to argue with.

00:15:33.715 --> 00:15:39.729
You know, the principal, you were less than yeah, the principal treated me like shit.

00:15:39.729 --> 00:15:40.653
He told me, never went out to nothing, you know.

00:15:40.653 --> 00:15:54.846
And like I rebelled and I agreed with him, you know, for a time, and like there was a drastic point in my life where it almost went completely different and I'm so glad to say I somehow flipped a switch and that like yes, I'm never going to amount to nothing, became fuck them.

00:15:54.846 --> 00:15:58.140
Yeah, right, and then it's like it was everything that drove my first business.

00:15:58.461 --> 00:16:04.066
It's hard to start a business with four thousand dollars, live in a dirt lot with no electricity, no running water.

00:16:04.066 --> 00:16:07.940
You know, it's like, yeah, and like that's how I started my first company.

00:16:07.940 --> 00:16:19.760
Yeah, but that is like in itself, like the, the value now I get to bring to the world because, like I know how to start with nothing and I like being able to show people that you can start with nothing and do something you know.

00:16:19.760 --> 00:16:29.089
You can outwork that stuff you know and, like most of the information out there is for the people that already have the breaks, I like giving people the information, like here's when you're starting from zero right.

00:16:29.089 --> 00:16:37.655
Here's when, like your job, success means your business, success means homeless or make it you know, those are the things that I have to offer you, you know.

00:16:37.995 --> 00:16:40.842
So it's the other side of the world and what business is it's like.

00:16:40.842 --> 00:16:44.240
You know it's like and I'm I'm glad for everything I went through to give me that too.

00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:49.932
My dad even says all the time he's like I never seen anybody deal with the amount of shit you deal with and then just keep getting up.

00:16:50.153 --> 00:16:50.352
Yeah.

00:16:52.340 --> 00:16:52.501
And I do.

00:16:52.501 --> 00:16:52.988
I have horrible luck.

00:16:52.988 --> 00:16:53.918
I get hit with shit all day.

00:16:53.918 --> 00:16:55.884
You know it's like my first business.

00:16:55.884 --> 00:16:57.408
I had so many problems in one year.

00:16:57.408 --> 00:16:59.312
Everybody told me to write a book, couldn't believe it.

00:16:59.312 --> 00:17:01.506
Fires, robberies, lawsuits that weren't fair.

00:17:01.506 --> 00:17:07.085
You know, like health issues, love life issues, you know like partner issues, all at the same.

00:17:07.085 --> 00:17:09.107
I literally did write a book because of this.

00:17:09.107 --> 00:17:12.633
You know it's like um, but you know it's like I don't know.

00:17:12.633 --> 00:17:14.556
The best business advice I ever heard is Rocky.

00:17:14.556 --> 00:17:21.326
You know, take all those punches and keep moving forward, no matter what.

00:17:21.346 --> 00:17:23.173
There's nothing more frustrating than the person that won't stay down.

00:17:23.173 --> 00:17:27.845
Yeah, nothing, yeah, which is a lovely fuck you that you get to do when you keep getting back up Right, absolutely yeah.

00:17:27.964 --> 00:17:29.406
You know whether it's in the MMA bring.

00:17:29.406 --> 00:17:33.292
I've been there too, been put down a lot, you know broken ribs, broken nose.

00:17:33.292 --> 00:17:34.434
You keep standing up.

00:17:34.434 --> 00:17:35.803
It's frustrating, yeah, you know.

00:17:35.803 --> 00:17:44.602
And like in life and business too, it's like you keep standing up, you're defeating the other person, I don't care how much they're like bigger than you, winning across you.

00:17:44.602 --> 00:17:45.983
They didn't get you down.

00:17:45.983 --> 00:17:48.027
They keep standing, they keep standing up.

00:17:48.027 --> 00:17:50.191
You know it's like the Terminator, you think you put them down.

00:17:50.191 --> 00:17:52.914
You know it's like frustrating, you can't put them down.

00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:56.066
Where are you in the birth order of your siblings?

00:17:56.086 --> 00:17:58.191
You said you have brothers, and how many brothers do you have?

00:17:58.191 --> 00:17:58.751
Two younger.

00:17:58.952 --> 00:18:01.766
Okay, and you guys grew up here or somewhere else.

00:18:02.366 --> 00:18:03.009
All over the place.

00:18:03.009 --> 00:18:05.565
Yeah, like always moving.

00:18:05.565 --> 00:18:07.207
I went through nine different schools in first grade.

00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:15.101
Yeah, I through nine different schools in first grade.

00:18:15.030 --> 00:18:16.005
Yeah, so the more you and I speak, the more I realize how similar we are.

00:18:15.934 --> 00:18:17.118
I literally until I went to high school, did not go to a school two years in a row.

00:18:17.118 --> 00:18:17.568
Yeah, kept moving.

00:18:17.568 --> 00:18:19.160
Uh, not necessarily moving houses.

00:18:19.160 --> 00:18:40.653
My parents kept moving us from different schools and it was like, okay, we're going to go to this religious school, and then the pastor got caught diddling the secretary, and then we got to go to this next school, and then you know and it was definitely all religion based and all the bullshit that went into all of that, which is why I'm jaded the way that I am against organized religion Um, but but same thing, right, you have to be strong when you're going from one school to the next school, to the next school, to the next school, cause you have to.

00:18:40.653 --> 00:18:43.823
You're going in, you're having to make new friends, you're, we're mending that, yeah.

00:18:52.080 --> 00:18:53.346
And so we're getting closer.

00:18:53.346 --> 00:18:56.398
You know, I like, um, I was working on a real estate deal.

00:18:56.398 --> 00:19:07.731
Actually that, uh, we ended up, just her and I spent a couple of weeks together, Um, and that was really good for our relationship and, you know, like my mom even like to her credit it's like it's opened up a lot of things that I never knew.

00:19:07.971 --> 00:19:08.173
Yeah.

00:19:08.313 --> 00:19:32.474
You know, like her telling like I had never known some of the things that she's been telling me lately and actually it's funny, I went to share those things with my brothers and it made them really uncomfortable and so I think they're still dealing with things where I'm kind of like using it and moving on and my brothers are more like super successful guys you know like one brother's a PhD in AI technology he's one of the foremost authorities in the world, you know.

00:19:32.539 --> 00:19:35.583
And then other brother's, a software engineer, but they're like, they're different than me.

00:19:35.583 --> 00:19:37.067
You know completely different paths.

00:19:37.067 --> 00:19:42.473
You know like, and and so there's, I think there's still kind of like it to stay quiet.

00:19:42.473 --> 00:19:48.807
You know, I actually was really afraid I sent them my book and, whether they read it or not, they'd never responded about it.

00:19:48.807 --> 00:19:49.469
You know Really.

00:19:49.469 --> 00:19:54.915
And so, yeah, I think there's things that, like I'm starting to talk about that they would rather I didn't maybe.

00:19:55.843 --> 00:19:56.896
That's very interesting.

00:19:56.917 --> 00:19:56.999
Yeah.

00:19:57.340 --> 00:20:11.548
I think about that for doing this podcast as well, and obviously the people that are tied in in my life that you know, have their different versions of whatever that story is, but it's a lot of gross shit that comes from our childhoods and the stuff that get brought into it.

00:20:11.548 --> 00:20:26.538
You know I've just recently started to extend grace to my parents, as not only to them but in myself, you know as I'm processing some of the childhood stuff of you know they were just doing the best that they could with what they had.

00:20:26.538 --> 00:20:36.238
You know I've started speaking with my parents when we get together about some of the childhood trauma that they had as well.

00:20:36.238 --> 00:20:37.782
You know my dad's dad died in his arms at 14 years old and my dad couldn't bring him back.

00:20:37.782 --> 00:20:41.257
You know he's on his childhood bedroom floor with his dad dying and he tried to resuscitate him and couldn't.

00:20:41.257 --> 00:20:43.101
How fucked up does that make you?

00:20:43.602 --> 00:20:44.041
Do you know what I?

00:20:44.061 --> 00:20:49.088
mean Like I can't even imagine, and my dad, I don't think has done the work to repair that.

00:20:49.088 --> 00:20:53.516
My dad is, you know, 77 years old, will probably die without having done that work.

00:20:53.516 --> 00:21:02.493
You know he's a good person, he's always worked hard in, like all of the things, but probably didn't even realize that there was shit to be, you know, pulled out from that.

00:21:02.493 --> 00:21:05.609
And how can that not seep into every single part of your life?

00:21:05.609 --> 00:21:06.621
I don't know.

00:21:06.621 --> 00:21:16.075
You know I've talked to my mom about, you know, her upbringing and she was the oops baby to parents that were, you know, practically 50 by the time she was born.

00:21:16.075 --> 00:21:17.266
And like, what does that look like?

00:21:17.266 --> 00:21:23.365
She's raised by her sisters and her dad was very, you know, just hammered shame and guilt into these kids about.

00:21:23.365 --> 00:21:30.335
You can't let anyone think that everything isn't perfect behind these walls, you know, and behind the curtain, and I think what does that do to a child?

00:21:30.414 --> 00:21:33.398
You know, no wonder I was raised with all of the shame and the guilt that I was.

00:21:33.398 --> 00:21:48.368
You know, I remember looking at things where my sister got pregnant in high school and my mom and dad very much hid that and made her give it up for adoption and like on the surface, where everything's fine here, even though we were same shit, we were poor, we were the less than we were, all of that shit growing up.

00:21:48.368 --> 00:21:51.174
But it was like don't tell grandma that we're not Catholic anymore.

00:21:51.174 --> 00:21:52.817
Don't tell so and so that we aren't this.

00:21:52.817 --> 00:21:53.559
Don't tell whatever.

00:21:53.559 --> 00:21:55.205
I was raised to be a fucking liar.

00:21:55.667 --> 00:21:56.230
Do you know what I mean?

00:21:56.230 --> 00:21:56.771
And it's like.

00:21:58.017 --> 00:22:00.605
I wasn't the family that's like come to us if you need anything.

00:22:00.605 --> 00:22:06.173
It was like shut the fuck up and get out of the way and I didn't fit into the box that that they wanted me to in this.

00:22:06.173 --> 00:22:11.234
You know organized religion, because I could see from the very beginning this doesn't resonate with me, you know.

00:22:11.234 --> 00:22:21.199
But then I was not treated the same because I didn't just conform to that you know, and that's shit that I just am now like at 47 years old, kind of figuring out.

00:22:21.259 --> 00:22:24.868
Okay, how does that affect different fears that I have as an adult?

00:22:24.868 --> 00:22:25.570
Or how does that?

00:22:25.570 --> 00:22:28.646
You know everything comes from childhood as far as I'm concerned.

00:22:28.646 --> 00:22:29.931
How do those things affect me?

00:22:29.931 --> 00:22:33.416
You know everything comes from childhood as far as I'm concerned.

00:22:33.416 --> 00:22:33.905
How do those things affect me?

00:22:33.905 --> 00:22:34.528
You know, for how I was treated and how I wasn't embraced for who I was.

00:22:34.528 --> 00:22:34.689
It was.

00:22:34.689 --> 00:22:37.942
You don't fit into this box and so you're a problem, you know.

00:22:37.942 --> 00:22:39.347
And what does that do for a child?

00:22:39.347 --> 00:22:42.930
You know, the innocence of a child is so crazy to me.

00:22:42.930 --> 00:22:46.546
I look at that and there needs to be more people defending that in our children now.

00:22:46.546 --> 00:22:50.832
But you have exactly what you're talking about with your brothers where we don't want to talk about it, we don't want to acknowledge it.

00:22:50.832 --> 00:22:52.355
It's easier just to leave it under the rug.

00:22:56.460 --> 00:22:56.641
And to me.

00:22:56.661 --> 00:22:58.307
I'm here to blow all that shit wide open because I disagree with that entirely.

00:22:58.307 --> 00:22:59.452
I think there's lots to be learned from your stories.

00:22:59.452 --> 00:22:59.634
You know.

00:22:59.634 --> 00:23:12.153
I believe that every time I lead with vulnerability and share with other people the fact that I was molested and raped and all of these things as a child and not protected, and then and then turned around and put myself in super dangerous situations because that felt normal to me.

00:23:12.153 --> 00:23:15.364
You know, it's like my parents thought I was just rebelling for stuff.

00:23:15.364 --> 00:23:20.865
It was like that's what felt normal to me, you know, is to continue to put myself in situations that were super dangerous.

00:23:20.905 --> 00:23:27.971
I look back and I just cringe thinking about my children potentially putting themselves in the situations that I did, you know.

00:23:27.971 --> 00:23:30.453
But it's like you're just doing the best that you can.

00:23:30.453 --> 00:23:41.465
You don't have anybody there to like be your person to talk to, or an auntie or someone, and so now I go out of my way to be the best aunt I can to say door's always open, you know where to find me.

00:23:41.465 --> 00:23:42.068
Here's what we do.

00:23:42.068 --> 00:23:50.272
We defend ourselves, we use our voices, all of these things Because I don't want other kids to have to do the same thing that I did or that you did the stuff that you're talking about.

00:23:50.272 --> 00:23:55.276
If you didn't have anyone to talk to, it's fucked up you know the fact that your brothers won't talk with you about it.

00:23:55.336 --> 00:23:56.435
Now I totally get it right.

00:23:56.435 --> 00:24:00.987
I have two brothers, one who love him to death, but he's completely asleep.

00:24:00.987 --> 00:24:07.606
Still is how I will say that right, because I think you're either awake or you're asleep as far as I'm concerned, I haven't, you know, you've met Keith.

00:24:08.327 --> 00:24:12.734
He's right at this cusp of like, okay, the light switched, flipped.

00:24:12.734 --> 00:24:15.490
I don't know what that means, but he's like starting to really explore that.

00:24:15.490 --> 00:24:18.548
I'm having such a fun time watching that situation.

00:24:18.548 --> 00:24:23.912
You know, and as far as my other, you know my parents and my other sister, I don't know.

00:24:23.912 --> 00:24:26.930
I think my parents are so twisted up in organized religion that they don't even know.

00:24:26.930 --> 00:24:27.780
You know what I mean.

00:24:27.780 --> 00:24:31.209
My mom always thinks that if she's going to get therapy, it's going to be something that she gets through the church.

00:24:31.730 --> 00:24:54.794
Well, maybe get it outside of that so that you can have a full perspective, because I think organized religion is pretty culty a lot of times you know and maybe you don't realize some of the good stuff, but she has still has all of her childhood trauma that she drags through actively behind her like a ball and chain.

00:24:54.794 --> 00:24:54.714
You know what I mean.

00:24:54.714 --> 00:24:57.800
And people don't even realize, when you don't even realize, that that shit is just literally a ball and chain flying behind you, knocking other people out, because that's what it does.

00:24:57.800 --> 00:25:02.695
You know, that's what your triggers are and somebody says something the wrong way and you jump on them or we can't talk about that or like whatever any of that is.

00:25:02.695 --> 00:25:04.142
I don't want anything to do with that.

00:25:04.142 --> 00:25:05.324
I want to talk about everything.

00:25:05.324 --> 00:25:06.846
I don't want anything to be shameful.

00:25:07.047 --> 00:25:11.493
You know, I think you can use those things as good or bad I agree with you, it's all about how you burn it.

00:25:11.513 --> 00:25:14.087
You know I do that bully podcast with Cliff.

00:25:14.087 --> 00:25:16.608
He was my long-term mixed martial arts training partner.

00:25:16.608 --> 00:25:26.285
It's like number five middleweight in the world for UFC and he'd be always like we're such polar opposites and we're born like nine hours apart, like such polar opposites but so similar in certain ways.

00:25:26.285 --> 00:25:39.145
He, certain ways he drives off like passion, excitement and it's not like I don't but I've I burned through like anger and resentment you know it's like and like I, and I'm not an angry person in life.

00:25:39.165 --> 00:25:43.962
You'll rarely ever see me mad, or upset you know, but like or without a smile on my face, but that's what I use.

00:25:43.962 --> 00:25:44.743
That's my fuel.

00:25:44.743 --> 00:25:47.748
I think I burned through it and that's why I don't have to be that on a daily basis.

00:25:47.748 --> 00:25:49.730
And I, so I think you can use those things.

00:25:49.809 --> 00:25:53.295
It happened to you anyways you know you could use it as a gift or a curse.

00:25:53.295 --> 00:25:54.561
You know, it's just your story.

00:25:54.561 --> 00:26:00.342
You know once you realize that and don't give it the weight I think so many people give it so much weight and that's why there's shame around it.

00:26:00.342 --> 00:26:09.752
And that's why they don't want to talk about it, and it's like shame to can't live where the light is you know your destiny does not have to be what you think it is.

00:26:09.792 --> 00:26:12.615
You know it's like I and we're especially like being in this country.

00:26:12.615 --> 00:26:14.101
We can do anything we want to do, totally.

00:26:14.101 --> 00:26:19.653
I was homeless 15 years ago in this, in this state, right Dragged my brothers into it.

00:26:19.653 --> 00:26:23.964
You know it was like I still I told the story at my brother's wedding and I couldn't get through it.

00:26:23.964 --> 00:26:27.209
And a bunch of people came up to me afterwards and I was like feeling guilty.

00:26:27.209 --> 00:26:28.589
I'm like why did I tell this story?

00:26:28.589 --> 00:26:40.211
You know it's like and and my brother's father-in-law came up to me and he's like he's sorry.

00:26:40.752 --> 00:26:41.374
Don't apologize.

00:26:41.374 --> 00:26:42.378
Don't ever apologize to me.

00:26:42.460 --> 00:26:50.694
He's like, you know, like I loved your brother, you know like a son, but now I love him that much more.

00:26:50.694 --> 00:26:56.324
Yes, you know, yes, that story.

00:26:56.324 --> 00:26:56.604
Yes, so it was.

00:26:56.604 --> 00:26:56.904
So it was.

00:26:56.924 --> 00:27:06.323
It was hard to tell you know, and embarrassing for me, because I kind of dragged us down here and we ended up being homeless, you know, and so um, but they had no idea, because my brothers won't talk about this stuff.

00:27:06.323 --> 00:27:10.111
We went from living in the desert, you know, to like destitute.

00:27:10.111 --> 00:27:14.050
I was promised a job down here and when we moved down here there was no job the guy screwed me over.

00:27:14.413 --> 00:27:21.402
Then we ended up banding together and like bologna sandwiches, like five dollars a week, you know, like meals somehow made it work, you know.

00:27:21.402 --> 00:27:23.708
And then, like now, like I said, my brother's a phd.

00:27:23.708 --> 00:27:25.861
They both have beautiful houses in scottsdale.

00:27:25.861 --> 00:27:36.307
It's like we all have degrees, you know, to the point now we all have enough degrees where we do something fun together, where, like, when somebody gets a degree, the other two brothers buy them a trip, uh, anywhere in the world.

00:27:36.307 --> 00:27:36.989
We all go together.

00:27:37.028 --> 00:27:37.329
Love it.

00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:41.991
So, um so, we've been almost racing each other for degrees these days, you know yes.

00:27:41.991 --> 00:27:43.386
But nobody knew that.

00:27:43.386 --> 00:27:52.211
That's that story and it was, you know, like embarrassing to tell or whatever, but that moment that his father-in-law came up to me, you know it's like, Tyler, the story wasn't for you.

00:27:52.211 --> 00:27:53.712
Yeah, it was for Tracy.

00:27:53.913 --> 00:27:54.114
Yeah.

00:27:54.494 --> 00:28:02.381
So, Well, and look at how many people benefit from that kind of stuff, when you're able to lead with vulnerability and people are like, wow, that's impressive that you guys were able to fight back from that.

00:28:02.381 --> 00:28:09.554
I think people are so embarrassed about what their past looks like or what you know pieces are in their story, and I think it should be just the opposite.

00:28:09.554 --> 00:28:11.775
I think people should wear that shit like a badge of honor.

00:28:11.775 --> 00:28:12.394
You know what I mean.

00:28:12.394 --> 00:28:20.644
Like I look at my life and I you know recently and going back through things and realizing like holy shit, you know, I was a, I was a teenage mom.

00:28:20.746 --> 00:28:23.580
I was you know, I moved out of my parents' house when I was 16 years old.

00:28:23.580 --> 00:28:31.211
I'd like all of these different things and, and have recently started really giving myself credit for that, instead of just it's fine and just keep plugging through and just using shit as my fuel.

00:28:31.211 --> 00:28:36.915
There needs to be some some of that where it's like, wow, I really have worked really hard to be here and and and.

00:28:36.915 --> 00:28:39.005
Look at all of these people that I've had an impact on.

00:28:39.005 --> 00:28:42.337
How lovely is that your story is able to do that right.

00:28:42.337 --> 00:28:44.263
You being vulnerable and being able to share that.

00:28:44.263 --> 00:28:46.288
That makes a difference with people, you know.

00:28:46.588 --> 00:28:57.972
I mean you like, I went out, I get asked to speak sometimes and I went out to speak to a high school and uh, you know, it's a long ways, it's kind of expensive, it's obviously they're not paying me, you know, to go out there and that sort of stuff.

00:28:57.972 --> 00:28:59.780
But it wasn't about any of that stuff.

00:28:59.780 --> 00:29:09.752
I jumped at the opportunity to do that stuff and I was talking to my ex business partner and he's like and I agree 100%, you know he said it before me if it's one kid that impacts, it's worth the trip.

00:29:09.752 --> 00:29:16.790
So we go out there and you know, sure enough, a couple of kids came up to me like right afterwards, father's in prison Didn't know I could do this.

00:29:16.790 --> 00:29:20.289
You know, I hear from the teacher later that he just enrolled in school.

00:29:20.289 --> 00:29:24.144
You know, like, like all these things, that that's that's the impact of telling your story.

00:29:24.144 --> 00:29:26.848
You know it's like use it, don't use it to be a victim.

00:29:26.969 --> 00:29:30.253
No you know, use it to be courageous, you can.

00:29:30.253 --> 00:29:30.914
You can take that.

00:29:30.914 --> 00:29:39.369
Whatever that victim thing is that happened to you, you know, and then you can turn that into something inspiring and that can be part of the reason it happened to you.

00:29:39.369 --> 00:29:43.194
And I like there's people out there with way worse shit than no doubt, no, no doubt.

00:29:43.234 --> 00:29:44.279
I think the exact same thing.

00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:45.182
My life is easy.

00:29:45.541 --> 00:29:49.069
My my partner in the um foster care foundation.

00:29:49.069 --> 00:29:53.104
She's been through some of the most horrific stuff you could ever imagine Right and like.

00:29:53.104 --> 00:29:55.528
Yet it comes out the other side of it.

00:29:55.528 --> 00:29:57.133
She's tougher than I am.

00:29:57.133 --> 00:29:57.863
She'll fight you.

00:29:57.863 --> 00:30:03.204
You know like she will fight you tooth and nail if you want to touch a foster kid, you know and I love that about her.

00:30:03.204 --> 00:30:07.663
And then it's up to people like you and I that have been strong, that have come through things.

00:30:07.663 --> 00:30:09.244
We have to support those kind of people.

00:30:09.465 --> 00:30:10.527
We have to raise them up.

00:30:10.788 --> 00:30:12.089
We have to give them the platform.

00:30:12.089 --> 00:30:14.453
You know, and like that's what I'm working on with Lisa.

00:30:14.453 --> 00:30:17.976
She's amazing, you know.

00:30:17.976 --> 00:30:21.869
It's like I platform her as much as I can because I think she's going to change the world for foster care kids, because she went through it.

00:30:21.869 --> 00:30:22.612
Yeah, you know.

00:30:22.932 --> 00:30:26.314
How do you get more people to come from that place?

00:30:26.314 --> 00:30:31.396
Right, because everybody has a story and I think the majority of people don't talk about it.

00:30:31.396 --> 00:30:37.086
I think it's something that people are ashamed of or something that they don't do, but every time I lead with vulnerability and share my story.

00:30:37.086 --> 00:30:44.500
It's the reason why I hear all of these stories of the things that women went through previously and it's and, like you said, it is disgusting.

00:30:44.500 --> 00:30:59.336
I don't have anything close to as gross as it fucking gets out there and I, you know, I don't think people can even get their heads around how, how bad things, how bad stories are that people have them, but how do you get people that use those as, uh, as fuel, or people that use those for good?

00:30:59.336 --> 00:31:00.862
How do we give them platforms?

00:31:00.862 --> 00:31:03.248
How do we make that be something that you know there's?

00:31:03.248 --> 00:31:05.942
There's more stories to be heard and more cause.

00:31:05.942 --> 00:31:08.468
I think people grow from that when they hear other people's stories too.

00:31:08.647 --> 00:31:11.213
You do and I think you stated exactly.

00:31:11.213 --> 00:31:12.325
It's like you be vulnerable.

00:31:12.325 --> 00:31:18.079
First They'll share that vulnerability with you and then now you can support them in the things that you're doing right.

00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:25.008
And I try to find and collect people that are capable of doing things with me for the things I want to change in this world.

00:31:25.008 --> 00:31:27.469
Fuck the way the foster care system is, fuck it.

00:31:27.469 --> 00:31:34.133
Fuck the way we deal with animals and you know like what's happening to small business and all these things rile me up.

00:31:34.133 --> 00:31:34.394
I get angry.

00:31:34.394 --> 00:31:34.755
You know.

00:31:34.755 --> 00:31:36.903
It's like I'm not that scared kid anymore.

00:31:36.923 --> 00:31:38.067
You know, like I I.

00:31:38.587 --> 00:31:44.089
I will fight you, you know, and so like, and I don't mean physically, we're going, you know it's like you want to.

00:31:44.170 --> 00:31:45.510
You don't want to uh like.

00:31:45.510 --> 00:31:50.433
I want to open a foundation or we're opening a foundation for foster kids, because that is a passion of mine.

00:31:50.433 --> 00:31:58.176
When I heard that we're sending kids to jail for doing nothing wrong, because we got nowhere else for them to be like, that was like.

00:31:58.176 --> 00:31:59.518
That was the moment right.

00:31:59.518 --> 00:32:00.278
And you know it's like.

00:32:00.278 --> 00:32:02.182
I never used to share this stuff either.

00:32:02.182 --> 00:32:09.127
You know I'd like I I volunteered at the foster um uh care uh facility in Mesa for five years.

00:32:09.127 --> 00:32:10.497
I never told, told anybody about it.

00:32:10.497 --> 00:32:12.905
I had a girlfriend that thought I was cheating on her on Saturdays.

00:32:12.905 --> 00:32:14.590
You know I was like cause I wouldn't tell her.

00:32:14.590 --> 00:32:18.962
Or like I was spending two years at the animal shelter lifting the dogs when they're asleep from neutering surgeries.

00:32:18.962 --> 00:32:20.487
I didn't tell anybody of those things.

00:32:20.487 --> 00:32:21.810
You know, and shame on me.

00:32:21.810 --> 00:32:23.061
I've flipped a switch.

00:32:23.061 --> 00:32:24.223
We have this humble thing wrong.

00:32:24.223 --> 00:32:31.154
Shame on me, right, because if you give $5 on the street, that's probably not worth making a video for that's stupid.

00:32:31.519 --> 00:32:38.509
Now, if you show up every day to a foster care foundation or something you're passionate about, you're holding them back by not talking about it.

00:32:38.509 --> 00:32:39.746
You know how amazing that place is.

00:32:39.746 --> 00:32:45.126
You donate your furniture there instead of Goodwill, which is for-profit business, you know to the foster care foundation.

00:32:45.126 --> 00:32:47.448
They'll sell that furniture and now it funds the home.

00:32:47.448 --> 00:32:54.170
And when it funds the home, then guess what they get to do.

00:32:54.170 --> 00:32:55.028
They get to keep the kids in nice houses.

00:32:55.028 --> 00:32:55.537
They don't treat it like a prison.

00:32:55.537 --> 00:32:57.451
You can have knives instead of plastic wear and all these different things.

00:32:57.451 --> 00:32:58.577
They get to make the rules if they're funded, right.

00:32:58.577 --> 00:33:00.565
So shame on me for not talking about it.

00:33:00.565 --> 00:33:05.071
You know, and I actually work with some of the biggest charities in the world now and I tell them this same thing.

00:33:05.071 --> 00:33:09.865
It's like, hey, what's more important, you being humble or you posting and saving another kid?

00:33:10.125 --> 00:33:10.287
Yeah.

00:33:10.694 --> 00:33:12.921
You know and like it, we have it wrong.

00:33:12.921 --> 00:33:18.464
Why are we telling good to be humble, yeah, why, yeah, evil has no problem with this stuff Advertising.

00:33:18.464 --> 00:33:20.380
There's some guy out there on the camera today.

00:33:20.380 --> 00:33:22.836
Hey, buy my a hundred dollar course to rip you off.

00:33:22.836 --> 00:33:24.721
You know that's going to steer you in the wrong direction.

00:33:24.721 --> 00:33:27.486
For years you know, that guy has no problem using the camera.

00:33:27.486 --> 00:33:29.928
If you're passionate about something, use the fucking camera.

00:33:29.988 --> 00:33:32.368
Yeah, yeah, no, you're, you're absolutely right.

00:33:32.368 --> 00:33:41.744
I think there's a, I think there's a disconnect there from from that, and I think us talking about it more having a platform, having more people share their stories with that, I think all of that stuff helps.

00:33:42.134 --> 00:33:44.057
I'm going to impact as much as I can before I die.

00:33:44.057 --> 00:33:50.663
Yeah, you know, it's like I and I, like I went to the humble thing too, I, you know, and like I came out of the other side of it, impact's more important.

00:33:50.663 --> 00:33:54.867
Yeah, you can say, oh, tyler's a braggart, tyler's this or that, I don't care what you say about me.

00:33:54.867 --> 00:33:55.689
Agreed, agreed.

00:33:55.689 --> 00:34:01.561
If I save one more kid, if I save one more animal, if I save one more small business.

00:34:02.326 --> 00:34:06.757
I don't care what you think about me, right, god, it same thing, right?

00:34:06.757 --> 00:34:09.880
I've been trying to figure out what do I want to, what do I want to do?

00:34:09.880 --> 00:34:10.661
Where do I belong?

00:34:10.661 --> 00:34:11.101
Where do I?

00:34:11.101 --> 00:34:11.922
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:34:11.922 --> 00:34:18.429
And watching the impact that I have on the people that are directly in my lives is amazing, right.

00:34:18.429 --> 00:34:23.117
And then they're able to impact people, and so it's like okay, let's, where do I want this podcast to go?

00:34:23.117 --> 00:34:38.652
Wherever it's supposed to go, right, if people hear that and then listen to you talking and say, oh my God, I can get involved in foster care, in the, whatever the things are that you're talking about and, yes, that you're absolutely right, we should make that something that we speak about instead of our quiet about or ashamed about or whatever.

00:34:38.652 --> 00:34:40.422
These kids don't have a fucking voice.

00:34:41.094 --> 00:34:45.938
You know, and the part I missed was the most important part the second I started speaking up about this stuff.

00:34:45.938 --> 00:34:51.246
People rallied to my cause, right, tyler can do a decent amount in this world by himself.

00:34:51.246 --> 00:34:52.507
He's a pretty capable guy.

00:34:52.507 --> 00:34:53.909
But Tyler can do a lot more.

00:34:53.909 --> 00:35:00.333
And I think the biggest learning lesson for me is I had a board of advisors in my first company and one of them was a big deal works.

00:35:00.333 --> 00:35:03.103
He was the CFO of a major company.

00:35:03.103 --> 00:35:04.146
It's on record.

00:35:04.146 --> 00:35:05.742
He makes like three $4 million a year.

00:35:06.155 --> 00:35:12.188
And I come back from Africa one time doing some volunteer work and he finds out somehow because he never used to tell people this stuff.

00:35:12.188 --> 00:35:14.764
And he's like Tyler why didn't you tell me you were going?

00:35:14.764 --> 00:35:16.621
I would love to help with that.

00:35:16.621 --> 00:35:21.126
Right, and then, like, tyler can do a lot, but so can Tyler's friend that makes $3 million a year.

00:35:21.126 --> 00:35:22.581
His whole network that makes $3 million.

00:35:22.581 --> 00:35:24.139
Once again, shame on me.

00:35:24.139 --> 00:35:33.585
Right, and like the second I started talking about this stuff, people rallied to my cause, right, tyler, you open it, we'll come with you.

00:35:33.585 --> 00:35:34.650
Right, and it's like that's what people need, you know.

00:35:34.650 --> 00:35:38.001
It's like and there's a lot of things in this world that need to be changed, without a doubt.

00:35:38.182 --> 00:35:39.365
Well, and you're passionate, right?

00:35:39.365 --> 00:35:44.760
So same thing when you're passionate and you're able to get people excited about stuff, that's a big that's a big deal.

00:35:45.001 --> 00:35:45.181
Yeah.

00:35:45.461 --> 00:35:49.907
How do you, how do you foster that for yourself so that you can continue to rally people?

00:35:49.907 --> 00:36:03.916
Because when we were speaking before we started recording, we were talking about having days where you know, sometimes even those of us that are the cheerleaders and the ones that are helping people level up and the ones that are doing all of this good work we have bad days every once in a while, too.00:36:03.916 --> 00:36:04.998


What do you?00:36:04.998 --> 00:36:06.320


How do you handle those?00:36:06.701 --> 00:36:12.349


You know it's life has been like a serious exercise, you know, and like one of the things.00:36:12.349 --> 00:36:14.539


It's like how to impact the world.00:36:14.860 --> 00:36:21.181


You know I lived for me for quite a long time and um, and then, like, one day I woke up and I like I was lucky.00:36:21.181 --> 00:36:27.641


Early on, you know, 20 years old, I went from kid on welfare, you know like, to six figure job 20 years old.00:36:27.641 --> 00:36:31.967


You know, it's like I had the money right, but then that wasn't the happiness Right.00:36:31.967 --> 00:36:40.135


And then I had this really cool job, you know like, in the concert industry and I was traveling all over the country and girls were running after me and, you know, I was hanging out with famous people.00:36:40.135 --> 00:36:44.501


That was the, I guess, the fame, and that wasn't happiness, you know it's like.00:36:44.501 --> 00:36:49.628


And so I went through these different things and it's like, then I went and I started to like finally think about what.00:36:49.628 --> 00:36:56.838


What meaning was, what purpose was what you know?00:36:56.838 --> 00:36:58.626


And so I like, uh, that was what originally made me brave my degree in biochemistry.00:36:58.646 --> 00:36:59.530


I was told I was stupid in high school.00:36:59.530 --> 00:37:05.547


You know, I finally like had enough doors shut on me and like wanted to do something that I like braved college First year.00:37:05.547 --> 00:37:08.639


I was a business major and I realized they actually did pretty well.00:37:08.639 --> 00:37:11.543


I wasn't as stupid as they told me and I'm like, what's the hardest fucking degree.00:37:11.543 --> 00:37:26.887


They got here and I like thought about biochemistry and right along then I saw a um article and it was called silly white girl and it was this girl that um actually goes over to Africa and she's building schools with her friends, right.00:37:27.387 --> 00:37:32.626


And she wakes up one night she sees they're actually dismantling these schools and like building them properly because they didn't know what they're doing.00:37:32.626 --> 00:37:38.556


So she gets home and her synopsis is you know like you should stay at home and fundraise, right, if you don't have a skill.00:37:38.556 --> 00:37:40.746


I wanted a skill, I wanted to travel the world.00:37:40.746 --> 00:37:49.128


So biochemistry I was originally thinking about being a veterinarian, even applied, I was told I would get in if I majorly applied.00:37:49.128 --> 00:37:53.257


And then the world shifted into entrepreneur world.00:37:53.257 --> 00:38:02.086


But it was this search on like what is the right way to help, what is the right way to give, because even helping as you know, I'm sure even helping is a process, right?00:38:02.208 --> 00:38:06.887


You know it's like there's a great book how Helping Hurts, a great documentary called Poverty Inc.00:38:06.887 --> 00:38:16.902


We can't drop a bunch of rice in Africa and solve that problem right, so you have to work in systems and so, like we take guesses and this is the longest way to answer this, but we take guesses at the right way to help.00:38:16.902 --> 00:38:20.380


You know, it's like one of the things I do right now is small business support.00:38:20.460 --> 00:38:29.905


right, I've consulted for probably over a thousand small businesses for free now you know it's like I try to help them save their business because I believe in the collateral impact of small business.00:38:29.905 --> 00:38:36.739


I help them save their business they have their success than they do for the community right Good hearted people brought to their success changes the world.00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:57.065


But it does get hard, you know, because it's like I have this hypothesis If we band together more small businesses at a dying rate now in um, don't hold me these stats folks, but you know, it's like something around 70, 65% in 1950 was the GDP for small business and like now it's like 47% and decreasing at 0.03 rate per year.00:38:57.465 --> 00:39:00.780


Right, and look at the economic impact of what's going on now compared to then.00:39:00.780 --> 00:39:05.222


That was the single car household, that was the, you know, that was the American dream and it's dying.00:39:05.222 --> 00:39:08.519


And I feel like I'm the only one fucking paying attention to it, you know.00:39:08.519 --> 00:39:16.960


And so, like I'm like let's just rally everybody together, let's small businesses stick together, because there's the Facebooks and the Googles and we all, they all you're not paying attention to this.00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:18.320


They're all taking advantage of you.00:39:18.320 --> 00:39:23.056


We're their biggest clients, yeah, we're their biggest clients, hands down, and they take advantage of us.00:39:23.056 --> 00:39:28.641


Right, rally everybody, give them free education and we can all band together.00:39:28.641 --> 00:39:37.289


And when that system doesn't work, your hypothesis, your educated guess on the best way to change this thing, and like something kicks your ass, you know, like it did this morning.00:39:37.289 --> 00:39:38.911


It's like maybe I'm fucking wrong about this.00:39:39.010 --> 00:39:42.778


Yeah, how do you rally back?00:39:42.778 --> 00:39:44.423


How do you rally back when it kicks you in the teeth?00:39:44.423 --> 00:39:45.306


Because I'm the same way.00:39:45.306 --> 00:39:54.697


I understand, 95% of the time I'm able to be the one that's the biggest cheerleader and the one that's helping prop all of my people up and whether it's in business or whether it's personal or whatever it is.00:39:54.697 --> 00:39:56.786


But then every once in a while, I had a bad day.00:39:56.786 --> 00:39:57.610


The other day and I was.00:39:57.610 --> 00:40:01.378


It was the worst day that I've had in a really long time and it makes you question everything.00:40:01.378 --> 00:40:07.186


It's like life just kicks you right in the balls and it's like, okay, how do I, how do I shake this off?00:40:07.186 --> 00:40:07.907


What do you do?00:40:07.907 --> 00:40:09.748


What is your, what is your technique?00:40:09.748 --> 00:40:13.161


I'm for me, I'm asking for me because I need those, those tips and tricks.00:40:13.521 --> 00:40:15.487


Mixed martial arts has taught me so much in life.00:40:15.487 --> 00:40:18.981


It is the ultimate chess match with serious, immediate repercussions.00:40:19.563 --> 00:40:28.083


And so it's like you're put down, you know, and like you get to get up and have a different plan and that's what life is right.00:40:28.083 --> 00:40:29.684


You get put down and that's what I love.00:40:29.684 --> 00:40:31.568


If you're a boxer, I love boxing.00:40:31.568 --> 00:40:33.610


It's the sweet science, it's beautiful to watch, you know.00:40:33.610 --> 00:40:38.855


But I like mixed martial arts because I have options, right, and that's what life is, that's what business is.00:40:38.855 --> 00:40:39.655


You have options.00:40:39.655 --> 00:40:40.396


So guess what.00:40:40.396 --> 00:40:44.920


They put you down, you know, you get back up, you make a change, you fight in a different spectrum.00:40:44.920 --> 00:40:51.684


Now I'm going to go like I'm going to go try to grapple the guy as opposed to kickbox him or whatever, and I think that's you constantly.00:40:51.684 --> 00:40:54.487


Just have to even learn, or even helping is a process.00:40:54.487 --> 00:40:57.148


So maybe that wasn't the right way to help, right?00:40:57.148 --> 00:40:59.311


Maybe I've got to adjust that slightly.00:40:59.311 --> 00:41:06.811


It's like maybe that wasn't the best route, and I think that's what you do, is you just make those adjustments and learn more and more.00:41:06.831 --> 00:41:08.717


Learn from it and go on Get back up again, right.00:41:08.838 --> 00:41:12.144


Yeah, and then you got, so the pain is the fact that it didn't work.00:41:12.144 --> 00:41:14.978


That's the thing that put you down Right and they're like it's disheartening.00:41:14.978 --> 00:41:15.278


I know.00:41:15.278 --> 00:41:22.300


I know you've helped people that don't appreciate it or didn't use it, or you know it's like and I have too I've had my heart broken so many times.00:41:22.300 --> 00:41:24.963


I love people I'm to.00:41:24.963 --> 00:41:26.746


It feels like a curse because it's torture to me.00:41:26.766 --> 00:41:32.878


When I see something that, like, I can't stand.00:41:32.878 --> 00:41:35.324


You know, even something simple.00:41:35.324 --> 00:41:38.639


I'm watching this video the other day of like these um people.00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:46.043


They're caught on camera dropping off their dogs and leaving them and the dog, like it makes me sick to my stomach right now, like abandonment.00:41:46.043 --> 00:41:47.655


I told you I'm big on loyalty.00:41:47.655 --> 00:41:49.057


You know like I love animals.00:41:49.057 --> 00:41:51.923


You know everything in my body strikes against that.00:41:51.923 --> 00:41:57.143


You know it's like and I tell people, when you feel it here and you feel it here, you have to do something here.00:41:57.143 --> 00:42:01.181


You know it's like that's when you got to develop something that's going to change that thing.00:42:01.181 --> 00:42:04.335


That you know, and that's why I'm like Tyler was my small business.00:42:04.335 --> 00:42:04.695


Why?00:42:04.695 --> 00:42:09.003


Because you need to make more good people successful and that's the best way to change your stars in this world.00:42:09.003 --> 00:42:11.228


Look at me you know, like prime example.00:42:11.248 --> 00:42:12.170


Look at you right.00:42:12.170 --> 00:42:20.807


If we hadn't had the opportunity to open a small business, tyler then couldn't start a foster care foundation and wouldn't have the network to do it.00:42:20.807 --> 00:42:23.206


He'd be some poor welfare kid that nobody wants to talk to.00:42:23.206 --> 00:42:28.585


You know, tyler couldn't be traveling the world redefining what it means to be a hero and giving that money to charity.00:42:28.585 --> 00:42:38.588


You know, tyler couldn't be helping small businesses and have a property where you can come in for free and get help with your business anytime.00:42:38.608 --> 00:42:39.672


That all happened because of business, right?00:42:39.672 --> 00:42:39.952


How long ago?00:42:39.952 --> 00:42:42.679


What age were you when you realized that it wasn't about you, right?00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:51.567


We talk about, you know, getting all of these things getting the money, getting the fame, getting the education, getting the whatever and then realizing that that isn't where it's at Right?00:42:51.567 --> 00:42:52.469


What age were you when you?00:42:57.195 --> 00:42:57.737


when you realized that.00:42:57.737 --> 00:42:58.217


You know it's funny.00:42:58.217 --> 00:43:19.634


So like I know you guys are going to clip this specific clip which gets me so much hate, you know, and so because it's like I feel bad when I see the guy that's 40 years old, that's driving the Ferrari and it's never done anything for the world, it tells me that life hasn't given you any sort of growth, right, you are so lost on life and folks just because you're going to hate me now, like, for some reason, everybody defends the poor Ferrari owner.00:43:19.634 --> 00:43:21.840


You know it's like like I don't understand that.00:43:21.840 --> 00:43:25.038


You know it's like the amount of people that actually have a Ferrari is pretty small.00:43:25.338 --> 00:43:27.742


But it's like my thing is have the Ferrari.00:43:27.742 --> 00:43:29.344


You, you've enjoyed it, you worked.00:43:29.344 --> 00:43:32.010


I know what it's like to work really hard for your money.00:43:32.010 --> 00:43:33.351


You know it's like have it.00:43:33.351 --> 00:43:37.663


But my point is, if you have the Ferrari and you've never done anything for a cause or anybody else, shame on you.00:43:37.663 --> 00:43:39.755


That shows me you've had no life progress.00:43:39.755 --> 00:43:42.757


You're like a two year old in what learning about life is.00:43:42.757 --> 00:43:45.920


And so like I guess I'm lucky I got my ass kicked as a kid.00:43:45.920 --> 00:43:48.402


I guess I lucky that I made a lot of bad decisions.00:43:48.402 --> 00:43:56.427


I guess I'm lucky that, like for the way people mistreated me, because I feel like around 25 years old, I was starting to already think like I got to do something to change the world.00:43:56.887 --> 00:43:57.927


That's incredible.00:43:58.248 --> 00:44:02.670


That's very young for that that was when I enrolled in biochemistry program and I wanted to travel.00:44:02.670 --> 00:44:04.092


I didn't even care about the money for medicine.00:44:04.092 --> 00:44:07.978


Yeah Right, I was afraid to even admit to anybody I was going wanting to go to medical school.00:44:07.978 --> 00:44:14.206


I literally wanted the degree because I wanted a skill to go work in Africa and help people.00:44:14.447 --> 00:44:15.289


Good for you.00:44:15.289 --> 00:44:15.989


Like that.00:44:15.989 --> 00:44:16.974


That impresses me.00:44:16.974 --> 00:44:19.621


I thought the world revolved around me until I was 40.00:44:19.621 --> 00:44:21.675


I mean, literally thought it revolved around me.00:44:21.675 --> 00:44:24.523


I thought it was you know when I in business, when will it be enough?00:44:24.523 --> 00:44:40.260


My answer was always more you know and and having my eyes opened and my ass kicked and switched to realize like this life has nothing to do with me is the most beautiful gift I've ever been given, and it's how can I help more people, how can I impact more people?00:44:40.260 --> 00:44:41.539


It's literally that's it.00:44:41.539 --> 00:44:46.085


I wake up in the morning and to ask God to put me, wherever I can be, of the greatest service.00:44:46.365 --> 00:44:47.168


You know, that's it.00:44:47.168 --> 00:44:55.980


That's the same prayer I give every morning, and my answer at this moment is I'm going to be a billionaire.00:44:55.980 --> 00:44:58.730


Yeah, because, um, I'm going to be a billionaire and I already have the way I'm going to do it and I have to become a billionaire.00:44:58.730 --> 00:45:02.682


And the reason is because if elon musk had grown up in the foster care system, do you think it would look like it does?00:45:03.525 --> 00:45:11.309


no, no, you're absolutely right if bill gates had like, dealt with poverty, know and like injustice in his youth, would it look?00:45:11.309 --> 00:45:13.398


Would he not be doing something about that now?00:45:13.398 --> 00:45:19.121


Right, I've been exposed to some awful things in life, right, and that gives me deep.00:45:19.121 --> 00:45:19.822


I can feel it.00:45:19.902 --> 00:45:20.403


You know it's like.00:45:20.644 --> 00:45:24.521


I spent a very small amount of time in the in in, in foster care.00:45:24.521 --> 00:45:31.222


You know it was like that was a gift and like I feel bad even mentioning it, because people like Lisa grew up their whole lives in the system.00:45:31.222 --> 00:45:36.981


But I can smell it, I could feel it when I volunteered there, like there was every part of it that, remember, and that was a gift.00:45:36.981 --> 00:45:40.597


Now, because then, like I can feel what I'm supposed to do with it.00:45:40.597 --> 00:45:50.030


Right, you know, and so like that's why it's like if you're a kind hearted person, you know, like out there and you're a loving person, get yourself the fucking success.00:45:50.030 --> 00:45:52.478


Yeah, Get in the weight room and build yourself the body.00:45:52.478 --> 00:45:55.329


You know it's like you can't bully me anymore.00:45:55.329 --> 00:46:00.563


You know like, yeah, you can't do it Like I don't know, I don't care what level it's on you.00:46:00.563 --> 00:46:02.675


You, you want to go toe to toe with me in business?00:46:02.675 --> 00:46:06.001


Okay, you're not willing to live in a trailer in the desert?00:46:06.402 --> 00:46:07.063


and have an.00:46:07.163 --> 00:46:08.403


MBA and a bunch of successful.00:46:08.403 --> 00:46:10.467


I'm sorry you're not going to do that Right.00:46:10.467 --> 00:46:11.929


You know I will outrun you.00:46:11.929 --> 00:46:13.050


I will work you.00:46:13.050 --> 00:46:16.235


You know it's like thousand percent every day before you.00:46:16.335 --> 00:46:18.059


I will leave at the end of the day after you.00:46:18.059 --> 00:46:21.916


Every day, all day, I am literally willing to do whatever it takes.00:46:21.916 --> 00:46:25.360


And a lot of people are not the world needs more kindhearted badasses.00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:25.960


That's true.00:46:25.960 --> 00:46:29.023


Kindhearted badasses, I want you on my team too.00:46:29.043 --> 00:46:35.510


That's one of the biggest things that I've had a problem with is like I'll work 120 hours a week.00:46:35.510 --> 00:46:36.711


I'll work out all the time, you know.00:46:36.711 --> 00:46:41.297


Like I don't know whether that distances people from me or what, but like you know, I could use a team.00:46:41.297 --> 00:46:44.166


You know, if you want to be a kind hearted badass, you're on my team.00:46:44.434 --> 00:46:44.795


I love that.00:46:45.036 --> 00:46:53.246


If you want to take advantage of the world and it's more important that you get your Ferrari, you know, and like it's not your problem, oh hey, my gift to the world is I employ some people.00:46:53.246 --> 00:46:55.771


That's my, my, my benefit to society.00:46:55.771 --> 00:46:56.297


Fuck you.00:46:56.317 --> 00:47:05.961


Yeah, exactly, you're missing the big picture at that point you know what I mean and I used to think that.00:47:05.961 --> 00:47:09.505


I used to think that when I was in my thirties I was like, look at, I had no idea.00:47:09.505 --> 00:47:16.481


I, literally I, I, I drove the Mercedes and I had the big house in paradise Valley and I all of these things, and I've never been more miserable in my life, you know.00:47:16.481 --> 00:47:21.797


And now it's like realizing that it has nothing to do with me, and how can I make the biggest impact on people?00:47:21.797 --> 00:47:22.398


It's everything.00:47:22.677 --> 00:47:24.199


You know, why can't we look at that?00:47:24.199 --> 00:47:25.840


Look at this, most successful people in the world.00:47:25.840 --> 00:47:27.402


Why can't we look at, look at this?00:47:27.402 --> 00:47:29.603


You know it's like what is success?00:47:29.603 --> 00:47:32.045


Right, it's like okay, it's fame.00:47:32.045 --> 00:47:35.387


Right, it's money, it's power, it's your network.00:47:35.387 --> 00:47:38.130


Look at the most successful people and we look, we can look at them.00:47:38.130 --> 00:47:47.699


I especially studied comedians, right, cause comedians, I think, are ultra intelligent, right, and what happens is they get to the top, right, the whole world telling us the mark, and it's actually the marketing world.00:47:47.699 --> 00:47:51.724


Folks, you know it's a multi-billion dollar industry to sell you this dream.00:47:51.724 --> 00:47:53.164


You know it's like and like.00:47:53.164 --> 00:47:57.128


They get the money, they get the fame, they get the girls, and what do they have?00:47:57.128 --> 00:48:00.235


Happens, they get there and I'm like there's no happiness here.00:48:00.235 --> 00:48:03.278


I was sold this dream, there was going to be happiness here, and guess what?00:48:03.278 --> 00:48:04.340


They drink themselves to death.00:48:04.360 --> 00:48:05.621


Yeah, yeah, right yeah.00:48:05.621 --> 00:48:11.588


You don't have to be a genius to look at this, right, yeah I was like look at the happiest people, the most content people in the world.00:48:11.847 --> 00:48:19.755


You know, we went over and visited scott um neeson that you guys have never heard of you will, by the end of next year, if I have anything to do with it who we shot our documentary on.00:48:19.755 --> 00:48:24.485


Here's a guy that grew up, you know, um, not rich, right.00:48:24.485 --> 00:48:36.244


Uh was a high school dropout, you know, and uh started running a projector in a movie house of Fox Films, worked his way all the way up, hard work, president of Fox Films, did X-Men, titanic, braveheart, all these amazing movies.00:48:36.244 --> 00:48:43.762


And he, like he decides one day he goes over to actually Cambodia, sees these kids living in a trash dump, sells his mansion, everything he owns.00:48:43.762 --> 00:48:48.065


And now he's been over there and I've I'm now like lucky enough to call him a good friend.00:48:50.594 --> 00:48:53.425


Now like lucky enough to call him a good friend, and he will tell you every day I'm the most blessed man in the world.00:48:53.425 --> 00:48:53.626


I love it.00:48:53.626 --> 00:49:07.800


How, how do you that's the whole thing how do you wake more people up to realize that Because you can choose happy right now, you can do good things right now, you can make an impact right now where, when you go, do the volunteering and doing the things that fill your heart, that's the shit that matters.00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:14.382


Not how big your bank account is, not you know how much fame you have, not how many girls you have on your arm or which cars you drive or whatever.00:49:14.382 --> 00:49:17.298


And once you get to that point, you realize that it's still empty.00:49:17.298 --> 00:49:24.784


The goal post keeps fucking moving, you know if only if, if only if yeah, yeah, you know, if only, I get this next house.00:49:24.925 --> 00:49:26.088


If only I get this yacht.00:49:26.088 --> 00:49:28.965


Yeah, if only I get this money you know, if only get this look at.00:49:28.965 --> 00:49:31.175


If only get this look at the they, they make the documentary.00:49:31.175 --> 00:49:35.286


Look at the Instagram people you know or influencer people fucking miserable.00:49:36.677 --> 00:49:37.239


You're not wrong.00:49:37.239 --> 00:49:38.219


I mean, they totally are.00:49:38.974 --> 00:49:47.722


Find your thing that, like when it hurts here and it hurts here, you know like that's your thing Right and like find your thing that, and I'm saying, be successful.00:49:47.762 --> 00:49:49.387


Yeah, no doubt, no doubt.00:49:54.094 --> 00:49:54.217


No doubt that.00:49:54.217 --> 00:49:54.456


And I'm saying be successful.00:49:54.456 --> 00:49:54.695


Don't get that wrong about all this.00:49:54.695 --> 00:49:54.971


You have to have your success to make an impact.00:49:54.971 --> 00:49:56.362


You know, like there was a point in my first business, very first world business.00:49:56.362 --> 00:49:57.302


I had celebrity clients, all these things.00:49:57.302 --> 00:49:58.384


Everybody thought I had the dream business job.00:49:58.384 --> 00:50:05.981


You know, it's like turned down for reality shows that people thought it was so cool and I was like one day this guy comes in and I'm reading books like helping her.00:50:05.981 --> 00:50:08.525


So I mentioned and like how to, the right way to give.00:50:08.565 --> 00:50:17.545


And I'm in this first world business and like I call my Greek friend, my overzealous Greek friend, and I'm like, dude, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore.00:50:17.545 --> 00:50:24.059


Like it is, this guy comes in and he's getting like a racing stripe kit on his car, you know, and like the machine breaks and so he cries.00:50:24.059 --> 00:50:26.382


He literally cries, I kid you not.00:50:26.382 --> 00:50:35.451


And like we had went out, I picked the man up myself, you know, and like he's crying about this first world thing and, um, I was like I can't fucking do this anymore.00:50:35.451 --> 00:50:37.838


I can't work, I'm not doing any good for the world.00:50:37.838 --> 00:50:42.717


My overselless Greek friend, he goes Tyler, get back in the business, get back to work.00:50:42.717 --> 00:50:46.199


You can't change the world on the street corner holding the sign.00:50:46.199 --> 00:50:47.860


You have to change the world from the boardroom.00:50:47.860 --> 00:50:49.081


And he's so right.00:50:49.081 --> 00:50:50.362


Yeah, absolutely right.00:50:50.681 --> 00:50:53.043


Scott Neeson, way better story than mine, you know.00:50:53.043 --> 00:50:54.324


It's like he had a guy.00:50:54.324 --> 00:51:03.231


He's on the trash dump holding a kid that's dying of typhus typhoid excuse me, holding a kid that's dying of typhoid.00:51:03.231 --> 00:51:05.572


This old woman comes up, hands him the kid.00:51:05.572 --> 00:51:14.632


He gets a call from one of the most famous actors in the world who's saying hey there, do you know how hard my life is?00:51:14.632 --> 00:51:20.757


Scott knew in that moment, that very moment, that hey, I can't do this anymore.00:51:20.757 --> 00:51:25.487


That's when he gave up everything in Hollywood and he went over there and he's got 1,700 kids.00:51:25.487 --> 00:51:25.949


I met him.00:51:25.949 --> 00:51:29.858


They're in school, he clothes people, he feeds people, he houses people.00:51:29.858 --> 00:51:32.250


In the entire country of Cambodia.00:51:32.250 --> 00:51:35.518


I traveled for two months asking everybody what they thought of Scott Neeson.00:51:35.518 --> 00:51:42.289


They all said he is the most amazing man.00:51:42.289 --> 00:51:43.072


He gave up everything for Cambodia.00:51:43.112 --> 00:51:46.867


Monks told me they wish they could be as enlightened as the guy that's a guy that has life figured out, I agree with you a thousand percent, I agree.00:51:46.867 --> 00:51:51.110


And, like you said, that doesn't mean you don't have to chase money, because for me, the more I have, the more I can give away.00:51:51.110 --> 00:51:53.016


Right, and that's how I believe that yeah.00:51:58.344 --> 00:51:58.927


His success meant that impact.00:51:58.927 --> 00:51:59.471


Yeah, he, he had the success.00:51:59.471 --> 00:52:03.311


He had all the hobnobs, the letteries that go over there like I could laundry list name all the people that had been there the weeks before I was there.00:52:03.311 --> 00:52:06.144


You know, it's like that's what allowed him to make that impact.00:52:06.144 --> 00:52:08.710


So get your fucking success so you can do something with it.00:52:08.891 --> 00:52:10.315


No doubt, when is your?00:52:10.315 --> 00:52:12.668


So you did a documentary on on this guy.00:52:12.847 --> 00:52:18.518


Okay, I'm excited I'm excited to be able to see that when it comes out, desperately trying to get it into Sundance this year.00:52:18.684 --> 00:52:20.210


Okay, that's excellent.00:52:20.210 --> 00:52:21.715


Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.00:52:21.715 --> 00:52:23.429


That's awesome.00:52:23.429 --> 00:52:24.693


That story needs to be out there.00:52:25.065 --> 00:52:33.371


It absolutely does, and you know the premise of the show is like I want the world to look at a different type of hero, much like you're asking me like how can we help people understand this?00:52:33.371 --> 00:52:35.195


We have to look at a different type of hero.00:52:35.195 --> 00:52:43.791


When we're looking at my, my, my thought was if the Kardashians can make millions of dollars posting a video on YouTube, why can't we make some money for people like Scott?00:52:43.851 --> 00:52:45.896


Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.00:52:45.956 --> 00:52:50.173


And we have other people that, like we're hoping to go and do two episodes a year.00:52:50.173 --> 00:52:55.188


The next one got, uh, delayed a little bit Cause there's a war in the country we were hoping to go to.00:52:56.369 --> 00:53:05.199


I would go anyway, but like I don't want to endanger other people, yeah, so yeah, so he's.00:53:05.860 --> 00:53:06.742


he's an amazing man.00:53:06.925 --> 00:53:28.952


You know, like I will, any chance I get you know, I like to sing his praises once again, platforming people that are doing the good work Absolutely Well, and again, people that that try to do all of these things, that we I think we've been sold this, this bill of goods of having the house and the family and the two kids and the nice car and the amazing job, and you do all of this shit and you get to the end and you're not happy and you've just wasted all of this time.00:53:28.952 --> 00:53:38.177


You know when you really break it down and figure out that it's about making an impact, it's about helping other people, it's about community, it's about doing work that matters, it's about choosing happy.00:53:38.177 --> 00:53:40.967


You know, it's not all of this shit where it's like how can I have more?00:53:40.967 --> 00:53:47.574


And, like you said, it just keeps moving, the goalpost keeps moving of when I have this, I'll be happy when I have that newsflash, I had all of the things.00:53:47.574 --> 00:53:48.036


It's not.00:53:48.036 --> 00:53:49.329


That's not what makes you happy.00:53:49.449 --> 00:53:55.677


I've never been more fucking miserable 20 years old, you know, six figure income, two cars, lake house.00:53:55.677 --> 00:53:56.458


It was funny, you know.00:53:56.458 --> 00:53:58.559


I was on this huge house on the Hill.00:53:58.559 --> 00:54:10.851


I had a doc where I would go up and wakeboard every morning and it's like funny because it's like here's a rich and famous doctor, this is the Microsoft community, here's a rich and famous pharmacist Microsoft and here's a kid on the Hill that sells cars, you know.00:54:10.851 --> 00:54:14.076


And so I found out real early that wasn't happiness, you know.00:54:14.076 --> 00:54:23.230


But you know like and I think we, I do like to blow it out of proportion these amazing stories, these amazing people, but just as good as like being a good family person.00:54:23.230 --> 00:54:25.157


You know like raising good kids.00:54:25.157 --> 00:54:27.706


You know like trying to impact the local little league.00:54:27.706 --> 00:54:32.257


You know like I make it more grand at times you know, but like that's amazing too.00:54:32.485 --> 00:54:34.230


Yes, it doesn't have to be this whole big thing.00:54:34.230 --> 00:54:39.545


It can be making an impact in small ways in your every day and knowing how good that makes you feel right.00:54:39.545 --> 00:54:42.875


That's way better than any check I've ever taken to the bank.00:54:42.875 --> 00:54:46.867


It's making an impact with people that see that that go wow.00:54:46.867 --> 00:54:48.172


That really made a difference for me.00:54:48.465 --> 00:54:55.507


If you're living your life in a way, you should never have to tell people what you believe Be a billboard for your beliefs.00:54:55.507 --> 00:55:12.481


It's like if you're living your life with kindness and that's where I kind of struggle slightly is like I believe in kindness, I believe in you know, um, being polite, I believe, but I believe more than that in protecting those that can't protect themselves and that's been a tough thing for me.00:55:12.585 --> 00:55:15.329


It's like when is it turning the other cheek and when is it allowing a bully?00:55:15.329 --> 00:55:18.094


You know it's like we do a bully podcast for kids.00:55:18.094 --> 00:55:21.199


You know it's like and I get bullied sometimes these days.00:55:21.199 --> 00:55:23.248


Believe it or not, it's crazy.00:55:23.469 --> 00:55:25.134


I'm a 42 year old man.00:55:25.153 --> 00:55:26.257


I'm 220 pounds.00:55:26.257 --> 00:55:27.465


You know it's like I get bullied.00:55:27.465 --> 00:55:29.608


You know it's like and I'm turned the other cheek.00:55:29.608 --> 00:55:38.260


But if I see you doing it to somebody else, I'm less likely to do that agree a thousand percent right and so and I think that's what kind of drives my passion for this stuff.00:55:38.260 --> 00:55:41.744


It's like you can do it to me, I'll learn the lesson, I'll move on, but you can't.00:55:41.744 --> 00:55:43.327


I don't want you to do it to somebody else.00:55:43.909 --> 00:55:51.992


I want to ask you last question um, how do you feel as far as being in touch with your emotions and how has that been?00:55:51.992 --> 00:56:09.076


You know, emotional intelligence is this big buzzword right now for things, and and I've really started to evaluate that with myself and with other people, because I think you know being able to control your emotions and use them as a tool, instead of allowing people to bump into your shit and you lose your mind you know you lose control and you're not able to be effective and whatever.00:56:09.076 --> 00:56:13.927


What is your relationship like with your emotions and how has that kind of evolved over time?00:56:13.927 --> 00:56:15.590


Do you feel like you have a good handle on that now?00:56:15.911 --> 00:56:25.385


You know, like I I think so because most of the time you won't ever know there's something going on with me, you know.00:56:25.385 --> 00:56:26.331


And so, like I believe, anger is a weakness.00:56:26.331 --> 00:56:28.221


You know not being angry I use anger every single day but expressing it certainly.00:56:28.221 --> 00:56:36.876


You know if you're getting mad in traffic or if you're getting and I'm not saying I'm perfect, it's not like I never do but, I really try to tell myself anger is a weakness If you can't control that anger.00:56:37.175 --> 00:56:44.996


You know like this is a little bit of a segue and, once again, something I get a lot of hate for, but it's like why can we not control the fact that we can't be just friends with women?00:56:44.996 --> 00:56:46.626


I think that's the stupidest thing on the planet.00:56:46.626 --> 00:56:53.494


If you close your network down to like, for me, just men you know, it's like there's that phrase you can only be just friends.00:56:53.494 --> 00:56:55.916


You can't be just friends with a woman Bullshit.00:56:56.016 --> 00:56:56.237


Yeah.00:56:56.398 --> 00:56:58.099


That means, you have no self-discipline.00:56:58.800 --> 00:57:06.077


Yeah, I would like to find a man that I could be friends with, but I have not yet over the over the years, because it's a, it's a whole thing, you know, and that's ridiculous.00:57:06.224 --> 00:57:10.329


I agree with you a thousand percent If I could not have women in my network.00:57:10.329 --> 00:57:13.893


You know that, like, who do you think helps me with my foster care foundation?00:57:13.893 --> 00:57:14.634


So who do you?00:57:14.634 --> 00:57:17.898


Think who do you think, travels with me all over the world.00:57:17.898 --> 00:57:25.768


They're actually beautiful women because people, people will even say well what do they look like?00:57:25.788 --> 00:57:28.702


then you know like they're beautiful inside, and now you know it's like you're losing half your network if you can't control those emotions.00:57:28.702 --> 00:57:30.248


And so I come down to the same thing on all of it.00:57:30.248 --> 00:57:32.653


It's like it's discipline, self-discipline.00:57:32.653 --> 00:57:34.117


I am not a dog.00:57:34.117 --> 00:57:41.119


I can control my emotions towards a person, towards a woman, you know like I don't have to go into attack mode.00:57:41.119 --> 00:57:41.842


Yeah, I don't have to go into.00:57:41.842 --> 00:57:43.768


I don't know what you would do to chase women.00:57:43.789 --> 00:57:44.811


You know it's like I don't have.00:57:44.811 --> 00:57:45.914


That mode is yeah.00:57:45.994 --> 00:57:53.007


I have self-discipline you know and self-discipline is one of the things that is required to do anything amazing in life discipline is huge.00:57:53.166 --> 00:58:07.177


Discipline in and of itself is people should really take a good look at what their relationship with discipline is, because I feel like you can change your entire life just by focusing on your discipline, and I love that that that comes into, because that that comes into play with exactly what you're talking about as well.00:58:07.545 --> 00:58:09.731


I mean, that's why I use it as kind of a drastic point.00:58:09.731 --> 00:58:10.574


But I believe it.00:58:10.635 --> 00:58:21.181


You know, it's like I've had huge problems in business, you know, and it's like my staff used to look at me when something like majorly wrong would happen and there'd be like he doesn't even react.00:58:21.181 --> 00:58:25.882


You know, I remember we had to be a new guy in this massive thing happened and he's like does this happen all the time?00:58:25.882 --> 00:58:27.228


Cause he doesn't even react to anything?00:58:27.228 --> 00:58:32.630


You know, number one, they're all looking to me, you know, and so it's going to be doing me any good to freak out.00:58:32.630 --> 00:58:34.472


No, I just have to sit back, solve the problem.00:58:34.472 --> 00:58:38.639


My dad asked me the same thing all the time how do you stay so calm in these situations and stuff like that?00:58:38.639 --> 00:58:46.818


It's like because I just I start to assess how I'm going to fix the problem, you know, and so and that to me too is like just controlling my emotions If I get crazy.00:58:46.898 --> 00:58:48.505


I can't start to do something, it's true.00:58:48.646 --> 00:58:50.369


You're not effective at that point if you do that.00:58:50.630 --> 00:58:58.163


But then I think you can have too times too, you know, because then you know I'm working on being more open.00:58:58.163 --> 00:59:02.351


They've been pretty open today you know, and so it's, it's.00:59:02.351 --> 00:59:09.213


It's an exercise, you know, but you know I could be more vulnerable at times too, but I'm really working on it, yeah, so well.00:59:09.335 --> 00:59:10.726


Thank you so much for everything today.00:59:10.726 --> 00:59:11.648


I really appreciate it.00:59:11.927 --> 00:59:13.331


My pleasure For this week.00:59:13.331 --> 00:59:18.320


My may, I suggest, is going to be finding a way that you can make an impact.00:59:18.320 --> 00:59:22.673


Find something that, like Tyler said, affects you here, affects you here.00:59:22.673 --> 00:59:27.153


Do something here, get curious about what that looks like in your life.00:59:27.153 --> 00:59:32.255


And if you have questions or suggestions, please send us an email.00:59:32.255 --> 00:59:37.097


Our email address is ladies at letsgetnakedpodcastcom.00:59:37.097 --> 00:59:40.429


Tyler, I appreciate you spending time with us today.00:59:40.429 --> 00:59:41.952


Really appreciate the conversation.00:59:41.952 --> 00:59:44.126


I think it will be helpful to a lot of people.00:59:44.447 --> 00:59:45.751


So absolute pleasure.00:59:45.751 --> 00:59:47.516


Thank you so much for having me.00:59:47.516 --> 00:59:50.646


Yeah, I hope some of that helps you.00:59:50.646 --> 00:59:56.068


That's been my journey you know and so like my whole thing, and being vulnerable is if it helps somebody I'm willing to do it.00:59:56.128 --> 01:00:00.757


Agree with you 1,000% and hopefully that leads and shows other people the example to do the same.01:00:00.757 --> 01:00:03.472


So yeah, lead with vulnerability.01:00:03.672 --> 01:00:04.293


Okay awesome.01:00:04.514 --> 01:00:04.936


Thanks, Tyler.01:00:05.336 --> 01:00:05.777


That's a wrap.