E23: Divine Feminine Rising: How Vulnerability Became My Superpower
The journey to self-authenticity isn't always linear or comfortable, as illustrated in our recent podcast episode featuring Hilary Burton, a therapist, professional dominatrix, and feminine empowerment coach. Her story unveils how embracing one's true self, despite societal judgments, can lead to profound personal liberation and growth.
Hilary's transformation began in 2020 when she started her pediatric therapy practice, got divorced, and embarked on her dominatrix journey. Having lived what she describes as a "vanilla life" with a sexless marriage for years, she had always been fascinated by the energy dominatrixes hold. This fascination eventually led her to pursue professional training through an academy led by a dominatrix with a PhD in psychology, where she learned about the psychological foundations of kinks and fetishes, as well as the ethical responsibilities of holding space for clients.
What's particularly striking about Hilary's story is how she kept her dominatrix work secret for years due to internalized shame and society's double standards. While men can explore their sexuality without judgment, women who express their desires or embrace their sensual power often face criticism and stigma. This disparity highlights how deeply patriarchal values are embedded in our perception of sexual expression and feminine power. Hilary described how keeping her work hidden made it feel "negative and dark" rather than the "beautiful, therapeutic, incredible experience" it could be.
The turning point came when Hilary realized that authenticity was the key to both personal fulfillment and professional success. She had been incorporating her dominatrix knowledge into her women's empowerment coaching without explicitly acknowledging it. Eventually, she recognized that by hiding this aspect of herself, she wasn't being fully authentic, which limited her ability to truly empower others. This realization prompted her to openly embrace all facets of her identity, despite potential judgment or consequences.
Hilary's clients aren't who you might expect. Rather than troubled individuals, many are successful entrepreneurs and highly masculine men who make countless decisions daily. They seek her services as a respite from their responsibilities—a space where they don't have to make decisions and can fully connect with their bodies rather than remaining trapped in their minds. This therapeutic element challenges common misconceptions about BDSM relationships, revealing how they can provide healing experiences through physical sensations that ground people in their bodies.
The podcast conversation extends beyond Hilary's professional journey to explore broader themes of feminine empowerment, vulnerability, and breaking free from societal expectations. Both Hilary and host Ann discuss how women are often raised to prioritize others' happiness over their own, to follow a prescribed path (marriage, house, children), and to compete with each other rather than offering support.
This episode serves as a powerful reminder that authenticity requires courage but ultimately leads to freedom. As Hilary aptly puts it, "When you're standing in your authentic truth and in your authentic power, the rest of that doesn't matter." Her journey from secrecy to openness demonstrates how embracing all aspects of ourselves, even those that might invite judgment, can lead to profound personal fulfillment and the ability to empower others more effectively.
