Beyond Laughter: A Path to Emotional Awareness

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I'd love to help you get vulnerable.

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Let's get naked.

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Welcome to the let's get naked podcast.

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Today we are getting naked with put your fucking hands down.

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We are getting naked with my other brother, uh, the straight one and his wife Caitlin.

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So welcome guys.

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They came down from Colorado specifically to be tortured on the podcast today, which we find to be very brave of them.

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So, mainly because we haven't put an episode out officially, so they don't know exactly what they're walking into, which is pretty fun for me.

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So I'd like to start with the first question to Brennan how do you feel about your capabilities in making people gay, and have you done anyone other than our other brother turning him gay?

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Have you done any of the swapping for anybody else?

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I feel like the only people I've ever made gay besides him are women.

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I mean, like I said before, if you look at me, you just instantly turn.

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Instantly, like most women are like oh my God, yep.

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I'm going to go full on scissoring.

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I'm out of this.

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I love it.

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Other than that, he is my trial subject.

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Do you tell people about that, Like are you pretty proud about that?

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Like I turned my brother gay?

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Usually it comes up in most bar conversations, most of the time, you know you get to that.

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you know a half hour of conversation, you get to how I turned my brother gay.

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How did you do it?

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It was a planned series of events, none of which I remember, which works out amazingly.

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It just happened, naturally Okay, because everybody wants a token, gay brother.

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That's true.

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I really feel happy about that.

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I remember before I knew he was gay in high school I was in eighth grade Before you knew he was gay or before he told you he was gay.

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Before he told me he was gay right.

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So before everyone knew, and I had a girlfriend who we were in eighth grade I remember her name was Julie and I said I made some homophobic comment like and I don't even know what it was, it was super inappropriate, but I was just an idiot and I didn't know and I don't think it was like it wasn't hurtful, but it just wasn't in PC with whatever the times were back then, which is a long time ago, and I remember her like really getting offended and upset with me and telling me that her brother was gay and I just, oh my god, I'm so sorry.

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And then I was like I want a gay brother.

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So maybe I helped you turn.

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I think it was your fault.

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Do you know what I mean?

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like maybe he was it's like pinky in the brain type of situation.

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Yeah, he could have been like dealt halfway a little bit and then and then just went full on full on exactly which you know.

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Good for us you were older, so it's your fault then.

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I'll take blame for that.

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I do want to talk about a little bit to piece in the story for our listeners, about where you are in the birth order and how that looked for you.

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Right?

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We talked with Keith and or Tony everyone knows a little bit that we call them both things but where he fits in, you know, but where you fit in with things.

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And I'd also like to talk about how you and Caitlin met, what that looks like.

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You know what you would say the secret to your success.

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How many years have you guys been married?

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20.

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20 years, that's a long time.

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You answered very quickly, like you were worried you would forget.

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Yeah, no, like he remembers it's a pretty big deal.

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It's a pretty big deal.

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So tell me a little bit about your order in the birth stuff right, being further down and what that looked like for mom and dad and living in South Dakota and moving to Colorado and like the shit that you remember, or is it?

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We're still not remembering anything and you don't have anything to offer.

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Yeah, we still don't remember anything from South Dakota, for sure, okay.

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How old were you when we moved to Colorado?

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Six Okay.

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How old were you when we moved to Colorado?

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Six Okay, you do remember stuff.

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Five to six.

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You remember certain stuff, like what you remember the corn bin.

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Oh yeah, like bits and pieces, like near-death experiences.

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That makes sense to remember that type of shit.

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How many near-death experiences do we have?

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in South Dakota At least one.

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I had one too.

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The girls left me in the hog water and I was literally drowning.

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I remember being three years old and I couldn't touch the bottom, and they ran to get help and just left me.

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Do you know how far away the fucking pig barn was from our house Good distance, yeah, I was pretty sure I was going to die that day.

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How?

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old were you in the corn bin Three.

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Less than six, I don't know Mom and dad sent pictures of whatever they went back and did with the threshing bee.

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Did you see?

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those emails.

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I kind of looked at them.

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There's a kid that's on the threshing bee, that doesn't have a hand right and I'm like that feels very standard for South Dakota.

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Well, you always practice driving with a hook.

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Stop it.

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You're such an idiot, jesus Christ, raise your hand if you've ever practiced driving with a hook on a regular basis it's so weird.

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Why are you not even around that kind of equipment and machinery anymore?

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I work every day in my office in your office.

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You're worried, my mouse could take my hand off you're such a pussy it's a real fear and what happens if he loses his left hand.

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We're gonna have to buy a postal vehicle so he can shift with his hook.

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You think all the way an australian subaru can I tell you?

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may I just say that I am pretty certain that you're one of the weirdest people I've ever met in my entire life yeah, and the fact that you roped this one in and not only does she like you, but she I feel like she likes me too a little bit, and tony, and you know what I mean.

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I think it's pretty crazy and and that was back before roofies were a big thing, so right now he was around ether was stronger.

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That might explain it.

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Yeah, I, I just I love it so much.

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You know that Ace Ventura, when he's like the pet detective and he's running behind the football player cause he's going to see if he has the ring, that's what I feel like you did to her.

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She was trying to get away, you know, and then you just jumped on her back.

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Yeah, put the rag over her face yeah does it smell like chloroform?

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yeah, tell me, did you guys um, start dating in high school?

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See, I was out right before you were really old enough.

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My kind of last memory for living at home and that whole shit show, was you selling my senior pictures to your fucking friends so they could jerk off to him.

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I mean fucking disgusting lucrative business where do you think he gets his entrepreneurial spirit?

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no, exactly like hey let me, I had to do something to pay for my cigarettes and drinking habits it's so inappropriate.

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But so when I by the time I moved out, because what's our age difference?

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three years right, which is an important three years right.

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So if I moved out at 16, you would have just been like middle school, right, exactly.

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So when did you meet caitlin?

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How old were you?

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Were you in high school?

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16, okay, so if I moved out at 16, you would have just been like middle school Right Exactly.

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So when did you meet Caitlin?

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How old were you?

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Were you in high?

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school 16.

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Okay, you guys did not go to the same high school.

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No, you met her out at work.

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At the elevator in Watkins.

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Okay, and was it like?

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Did you have?

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To work hard on her.

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Oh she like.

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The first time I saw her in that first winter she thought I was a creepy old fucker.

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He looked old.

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I thought I was 60 years old, I thought that was Cameron too, and I just thought she was 60?

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.

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I thought she was a stuck-up pretentious bitch because she wouldn't talk to me.

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I thought he was at least 25 or 30.

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Well, you do look, 100.

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Yeah, and he was 17.

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I don't know why this is so funny to me, but both you and Tony are like everyone.

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When I tell them, they're like oh, he's the older brother, I'm like no, no, I'm older.

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And they just are like no, seriously, is he the?

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And I'm like.

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We're that much more mature.

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I don't think it's mature Emotionally.

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Speaking of emotionally, let's fucking talk about that.

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Oh, we're still talking about dating.

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What are you talking about?

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16?

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Or you just met her at 16?

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No, I avoided him for a whole year.

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That was nice and then you just gave in or what happened, like you ran out of steam.

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Then I actually met him Okay, because it was more of a.

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I was working for Wheat Harvest and he and his two friends had applied all three of them.

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I remember the day they pulled in and they applied and they got hired after Wheat Harvest was over so I was already back working for my mom and dad.

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So then that whole next year I was working and he would come to the store my family store to buy whatever propane and my mom would harass him and accessories, and my mom would harass him and I just avoided him because I thought he was old.

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And so the next year I worked wheat harvest and he had then been upgraded to a farmer for them and would come in with his load of wheat and black like almost the color of the wall, because he had no air conditioning and it was hot and dirty and gross and he gave me a hard time all the time.

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So I finally asked her boss I'm like how old?

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is he?

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How old is the old man who's hunchbacked walking around?

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Oh, he's 18.

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And she?

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contrary to any correct HR procedures looked up his birthday and told me and he's like 16 days older than me.

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And I was like oh, okay, he's lived a hard life.

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Okay, so you remember some of the stuff in South Dakota.

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Just dying, almost dying.

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In a grain.

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Grain bin yeah.

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Grain bin, a grain bin.

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And then what do you remember about Colorado?

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For our listeners at home, brendan has a similar affliction that I did up until recently, where he doesn't remember a lot about childhood.

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And I've said to other people we used to joke around when I was drinking about, like why would you want to know?

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Obviously there's fucked up stuff that's in there.

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Just leave it alone.

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And here's what I'll tell you in my recent woo, woo, whatever it is that I'm doing, it started like opening my memory like Pandora's box, right, because it's like all of this stuff that I'm like I'm stopping putting shit on top of it and if you're just allowing things to come up and feel them as they are, the universe is excellent because it just puts shit in your path all the time where it's like, okay, I guess I'm dealing with that, whatever it is, and you're just using life as a lesson and it's bringing all of these things up.

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And what I'm telling you is I was on your side for a long time about that and I feel like it's a gift to have my memory come back and it makes I know, I know Caitlin's doing this whole like I've been right this whole time and we know that, caitlin, just so you know, brennan and I a thousand percent know that and, like the good big sister that I am, I'm gonna go bravely into this first, so that you can see that it's no, I'm doing R&D right now, but it's crazy because it's good shit and it's bad shit.

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But it's like I'm also feeling all of the emotions that came along with whatever those things were.

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You know, it's like Belinda and I talk all the time about stuff.

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That's things that happened when we were younger and, you know, in my first marriage and when we were having, you know, babies, having babies and all of this other shit Stuff that I never would even remember.

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And now it's just like it's, it's pretty, pretty wild.

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And for you, the way that you are with other people, where you're so fascinated with them and like what makes them tick, and all of that right, we have a very similar fascination with that, and what I will tell you is since getting curious about myself in that same way that I am about other people.

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It's fascinating.

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It's fascinating because there's things where it's like, holy shit, where did that come from?

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You know, and for me, I'm able to like dive down and feel that I was telling Cameron the other day, he, he got drunk the other night and I don't like Cameron drunk, I don't like guys drunk in general, Right.

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And that was something when Cameron and I first were dating and we were doing the whole like negotiations of here's what I'll have, what I'll have, here's what I won't have, based on both of our starter marriages, I told him I don't like drunk guys, right.

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And so Cameron always will get like buzzed and whatever.

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But he doesn't rarely tip over that line and actually get drunk, right.

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And he did the other night.

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And Cameron's just silly, like he's never been an asshole when he's drunk and any of that stuff.

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And I removed myself and I'm working on this thing where it's like, if it bothers me for some reason, I want to get curious about why that bothers me, because Cameron didn't do anything wrong.

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Why would I not hang out and be silly with him and like whatever, right?

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So the next day, like I went to bed and I wasn't mad at him, but I just I don't want to be around it.

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And so I kind of got curious about that and what I realized after like getting curious and curious in figuring out where does that come from is that Chris used to be a motherfucker when he was drunk, right, and he was mean.

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He was really mean to me.

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He was verbally abusive, he was emotionally abusive, like so for me, a drunk guy in that situation doesn't feel safe, and so it literally goes to the safety issue of that and so being able to, like, realize that, reconcile that, and then go to Cameron and say I'm going to fix this in myself because I have the power to fix this in myself.

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You don't have to just leave triggers there and say, like I'm not doing that, like no, is it valid?

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Do I not feel safe with Cameron?

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Cameron has never been a mean drunk, he's never been an asshole.

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He doesn't speak to me like that, like all of the things.

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So am I going to let an old limiting belief from from 25 years ago changed my today?

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Because I'll sit and be silly with Cameron while he's drunk?

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I don't give a shit that I don't drink you know what I mean.

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He's funny, he thinks he's so funny.

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He can't be funny.

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He can't be funny.

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Right, you know so it's like why would I no-transcript?

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You really realize it's an unnecessary limiting belief, that's based on something that happened so long ago but you don't even realize it, right, because when it came to, yeah, that was a nine year chunk with Chris and he was like that that entire time.

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Those are very formidable years for me, right?

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Can you imagine, hosie, you know, your daughter being with somebody who treated her like that and the things that he said?

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I mean he used to call me a cunt, like over and over and over, and yelling into my face to where I'm numb to that word now, right, but it was like don't call me that.

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And he would.

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I mean he was just such an asshole, you know, and in talking with Belinda stuff, and I didn't even remember what an asshole he is because I just blocked all of those years out.

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So now that all of that stuff is coming back, like, and the universe is putting all of this, chris, whatever his last name, is energy and we'll block that out.

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That's not appropriate to say.

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I feel like we're just having a conversation here.

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But it blocked all of that out so that I didn't even I didn't process it, I didn't deal with it.

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It's just a black hole in my past, exactly, exactly, right, right over your shoulder.

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I'm not even going to pay attention to that, but in dealing with those things it frees you up and you don't even realize it.

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It's like I'm an adult.

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I can deal with that.

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Obviously, I was a child when all of that stuff happened.

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But it's like to figure out that I'm doing something at 47 years old that came in from when I was in my late teens and early 20s.

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That doesn't serve me, right.

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It's a limiting belief of something that, like, really doesn't serve me.

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I've never not felt safe with Cameron when it comes to that.

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So me bringing that energy to that, to our relationship how messed up is that?

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But if you didn't even realize you were doing that, you wouldn't know.

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You know messed up is that?

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But if you didn't even realize you were doing that, you wouldn't know.

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You know.

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So it's like the stuff that we get curious about, about other people.

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I find it fascinating to get curious about myself, yeah, exactly, and say, where does that come from?

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And do I want that to be there still, or do I not?

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Because when I look at that and say, okay, excellent, now I know where it comes from, which was just a fear of my for my safety at that point.

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Right, because he was.

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He was the kind of guy who really wanted to get in your face and try to intimidate you and and you know, big tough guy, big tough guy.

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I love those guys, you know.

00:14:50.284 --> 00:14:54.181
But but when I was, you know in that position that I was, I moved away from home.

00:14:54.181 --> 00:14:55.543
I didn't have you know.

00:14:55.543 --> 00:14:57.044
Then I moved down to Arizona.

00:14:57.044 --> 00:15:01.390
He was a complete asshole to me when we were all I you know what I mean.

00:15:01.571 --> 00:15:05.716
That was how that was my way to get out Right, and so I, and so I use that again.

00:15:05.716 --> 00:15:13.745
Wouldn't change anything, have no regrets about anything, but being able to like, reconcile that and then not make Cameron continue to pay for something that he doesn't even realize.

00:15:13.745 --> 00:15:14.486
You know what I mean.

00:15:14.486 --> 00:15:15.671
Yes, it's full disclosure.

00:15:15.671 --> 00:15:32.480
Yes, no-transcript.

00:15:32.500 --> 00:15:35.086
I was going to ask you, like for me, if it's over a year old.

00:15:35.086 --> 00:15:36.149
I don't remember it.

00:15:36.149 --> 00:15:40.063
Yeah, so is that same with you or is it like you?

00:15:40.063 --> 00:15:42.687
Just you don't remember stuff from back when you were 20 and younger.

00:15:43.369 --> 00:15:53.469
No, I have also the same thing, where it's like if it was very long ago I don't remember Cameron and I always used to call it my five-year dump yeah, my five-year dump, because it was like I don't really remember.

00:15:53.469 --> 00:16:07.706
The thing that's fucked up about that is that my five-year dump was a coping mechanism, because when bad stuff would happen to me, it would be a soothing thing for me where I could say don't worry, you'll forget that, that will go away you know what I?

00:16:07.725 --> 00:16:12.763
mean and that's a terrible thing, because I should have been able to process.

00:16:12.763 --> 00:16:18.586
I mean I was a child there's all sorts of things that go into that, but your mind is it yeah, your mind is an incredible tool.

00:16:18.586 --> 00:16:19.589
It doesn't go away.

00:16:19.649 --> 00:16:22.003
It doesn't go away and that's, and so that's the biggest part of that.

00:16:22.003 --> 00:16:26.510
So, realizing, realizing all of this stuff right and okay, yes, we don't remember stuff and whatever.

00:16:26.510 --> 00:16:33.922
But if someone said to you say you think you're at a eight right now in a in just life, enjoyability, and like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:16:33.922 --> 00:16:48.461
But what if someone said your eight is actually a two right, and if you actually process this shit, which doesn't cost you anything, it's just literally a willingness to like, allow it to come up as it comes up and process the emotions and process the shit and then just release it, right, whatever it is.

00:16:48.461 --> 00:16:55.198
If you do that, you feel lighter, you're just, you're literally a better human.

00:16:55.259 --> 00:17:02.388
I mean I don't know how else to say it Like I'm a better mom, I'm a better wife, I'm a better friend, I'm better to myself, I'm all of the things, and it's like I had no idea.

00:17:02.388 --> 00:17:21.464
So for me to be like on this journey where I'm doing this and I'm helping other people do this this isn't an intervention, by the way, if this feels like it, or it can be, if you want it to be, you know, whatever but it's just interesting to me because I feel like sharing that with other people and having this voice of being able to say I had no idea I lived a really great life.

00:17:21.464 --> 00:17:23.748
You guys have been part of that this whole time.

00:17:23.748 --> 00:17:28.134
Before I got sober I didn't think my life was bad, you know.

00:17:28.134 --> 00:17:32.104
Yeah, looking back I'm like okay, there's some, let's throw that shit.

00:17:32.104 --> 00:17:33.145
I mean it was pretty bad.

00:17:33.948 --> 00:17:38.682
But I didn't memorable yeah, it was memorable and I but I didn't feel like that when I was going through it.

00:17:38.682 --> 00:17:43.665
But I look back at that and I think I thought I had it pretty good then and I look at where I am now compared to then.

00:17:43.665 --> 00:17:45.968
It was a two, you know what I mean.

00:17:45.968 --> 00:17:50.031
It was a two and I'm at a 10 now Just from being able to, like, do work on myself.

00:17:50.031 --> 00:17:50.972
That costs nothing.

00:17:50.972 --> 00:17:55.876
That's just about processing stuff, letting stuff come up, feeling the emotions for stuff.

00:17:55.876 --> 00:18:01.251
You're not an emotional guy, right, but you know, do you even feel emotions at all?

00:18:01.251 --> 00:18:09.076
Because we've always joked around between you and Tony and I, right, the being dead inside and then whatever, and I was always very comfortable with that.

00:18:09.076 --> 00:18:12.372
But here's the problem with that if you block all that shit, yeah great.

00:18:12.392 --> 00:18:18.922
You don't feel the lows, but you also don't get the highs either you know what I mean, because there's highs that are out there that are better than any drug or alcohol.

00:18:18.922 --> 00:18:25.913
You can even imagine, just by you know doing the work and not having that shit that you drag around, that you didn't even realize you needed to.

00:18:27.222 --> 00:18:30.506
But you get nuggets of memories, though, and what do you do with those when?

00:18:30.526 --> 00:18:31.208
those happen, though.

00:18:31.208 --> 00:18:34.109
Do you feel through that stuff, Do you talk through it Like what is that?

00:18:34.760 --> 00:18:40.153
And I think it's usually from something where I've worked through something within the past week or whatever, and that's what I was going to bring up.

00:18:40.153 --> 00:18:41.144
I can't remember what it was.

00:18:41.144 --> 00:18:51.260
It was up.

00:18:51.260 --> 00:18:51.843
I can't remember what it was.

00:18:51.843 --> 00:18:52.505
It was less than a couple months.

00:18:52.505 --> 00:18:52.806
It was at work.

00:18:52.806 --> 00:18:53.186
What was it, though?

00:18:53.186 --> 00:18:54.792
There was something, and I just like something that happened to work or whatever.

00:18:54.813 --> 00:18:56.278
I worked through whatever and then her and I were talking about something.

00:18:56.278 --> 00:19:06.690
It was like holy shit, yeah, I don't not something I would have remembered previously you were talking about attending your kids's sports events, and somebody asked if you had those memories of your parents.

00:19:06.690 --> 00:19:07.491
No.

00:19:07.731 --> 00:19:12.490
Yeah, Remember yeah, and you said you had the realization during the conversation.

00:19:12.539 --> 00:19:13.624
You're welcome we're remembering for you.

00:19:13.624 --> 00:19:14.547
Oh, that's right, that was Jose.

00:19:14.547 --> 00:19:17.246
Okay, yeah, one of the superintendents at work.

00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:19.105
So tell her what happened.

00:19:19.105 --> 00:19:19.827
Yeah, I'm dying.

00:19:26.641 --> 00:19:29.365
So we had a coaching for the managers at work.

00:19:29.365 --> 00:19:33.212
I'm trying to remember it was like a four-week-long class, yeah, I think.

00:19:33.212 --> 00:19:43.048
And it was just, you know, coaching your employees or whatever, through situations, and I don't.

00:19:43.048 --> 00:19:44.570
There again my fantastic memory.

00:19:44.570 --> 00:19:54.916
I don't remember exactly how it came up, but I'm sitting there with two other guys and we're talking about stuff and I've got to think about this.

00:19:54.916 --> 00:20:02.349
Jose said something and it just it hit me like a ton of bricks, like holy shit, dad wasn't around for me.

00:20:03.500 --> 00:20:05.406
I mean he was there, but not there.

00:20:05.607 --> 00:20:06.269
Yeah, understood.

00:20:06.941 --> 00:20:08.247
And I'm doing the same thing to John, yeah.

00:20:09.780 --> 00:20:11.184
Yeah, that's powerful shit.

00:20:11.184 --> 00:20:17.640
That's powerful shit Because you can still remember that as a grown-ass man right now, and how that felt to not have your parents be present.

00:20:17.640 --> 00:20:25.769
And you're doing the exact same thing to your kid, which, when you're aware of it and when you look yourself in the mirror and realize that that's actually happening, wow Right.

00:20:25.769 --> 00:20:27.833
It makes you want to do something different.

00:20:27.913 --> 00:20:32.431
Right, so so that's the whole thing about like, okay, yeah, we don't remember, oh, we're just going to block it out.

00:20:32.431 --> 00:20:33.421
No, blah, blah, blah, blah blah.

00:20:33.421 --> 00:20:34.281
I think that was fun.

00:20:34.321 --> 00:20:51.740
That got us through our thirties, we're adults now let's to have a dad that's present to do stuff, cameron and I and Wiley had that whole conversation several years ago where Wiley would come ask hey, dad, you want to go play ball?

00:20:51.740 --> 00:20:54.344
And he'd be like yeah, in a little bit or whatever, and then he would never go do it.

00:20:54.344 --> 00:21:07.794
And I said to him I said he's going to stop asking, either because he's not here or because he's whatever, and you're going to wish well, you and I are sitting in this quiet house by ourselves that you had said yes, a hundred percent of the time.

00:21:08.115 --> 00:21:13.651
And and he heard me when I said that, and it was every time Wiley would come ask after that, absolutely.

00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:13.840
And.

00:21:13.881 --> 00:21:15.046
Cameron's not a young man.

00:21:15.046 --> 00:21:17.526
It's a young man's game to be out there trying to keep up with Wiley.

00:21:17.645 --> 00:21:19.049
Do you know what I mean?

00:21:19.269 --> 00:21:20.011
Absolutely right.

00:21:20.011 --> 00:21:25.696
But, it's like, but he goes out there and then he comes home and he's rubbing on his shoulders and Wiley's like we did great out there.

00:21:25.696 --> 00:21:29.140
And Cameron's crawling from the car, but you know what, but he doesn't regret a minute of it.

00:21:29.140 --> 00:21:30.285
He doesn't regret a minute of it.

00:21:30.285 --> 00:21:32.306
You know what I mean and it's like same thing.

00:21:32.306 --> 00:21:44.153
I was so focused on building KMI and like working and all on the computer and I'm half paying attention to them and half paying attention to whatever.

00:21:44.153 --> 00:21:46.737
I have to be accountable to my children for that now.

00:21:46.737 --> 00:21:48.021
What a horrible thing.

00:21:48.021 --> 00:21:49.948
They deserve better than that, you know.

00:21:50.107 --> 00:21:55.075
And that's okay to say that, because I was just doing the best that I could with what I had Right and so.

00:21:55.075 --> 00:21:59.765
But you making that realization and understanding that do something with that you know what I mean.

00:21:59.765 --> 00:22:06.836
Because that's the power of the awareness right, and it's like you wouldn't have that if you just had your head in the sand and kept doing stuff.

00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:10.330
Well, and it's not something that you like normally sit down and think about, of course.

00:22:10.330 --> 00:22:15.323
Who in the hell is going to sit back and reflect on that type of stuff, of course, just because you're bored?

00:22:15.462 --> 00:22:18.465
Yeah, but here's the whole thing, the stuff that you're talking about, where it hit you like a ton.

00:22:18.465 --> 00:22:25.711
That's where, like to me the realization that I've had in the last couple of years of you know, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

00:22:25.711 --> 00:22:58.742
So if you're receptive to that kind of stuff and also you're just you're aware, you're plugged into stuff, you're not in your phone, not paying attention, no-transcript, you can to your kiddos, but if you don't know, you don't know, you know, and so I just I I think that that's really powerful stuff.

00:22:58.742 --> 00:23:01.926
So what this was recently, yeah.

00:23:01.967 --> 00:23:03.269
It's been the last three months or so.

00:23:03.348 --> 00:23:04.851
I want to say it was snowing.

00:23:04.851 --> 00:23:07.474
It was like this spring earlier this year.

00:23:07.474 --> 00:23:11.930
Yeah, okay, so do you feel like you've done something different about that.

00:23:11.930 --> 00:23:12.896
No, because I jacked my back up right after that.

00:23:12.916 --> 00:23:28.415
No excuses, I know, but I've been laid up in a damn couch to go, try to keep up with John I don't know what I mean Like if you look back and you think my dad was MIA, and again Tom and Mary Jane, this is not personal.

00:23:28.415 --> 00:23:31.733
We know that you did the best that you could with what you had and you do it.

00:23:31.773 --> 00:23:32.839
Circumstances were totally.

00:23:32.839 --> 00:23:33.402
It is.

00:23:33.662 --> 00:23:41.146
And here's the whole thing, when you really are able to realize that I've been able to, in the last couple of years, really realize that for mom and dad, they literally just did the best that they could.

00:23:41.146 --> 00:23:47.784
They gave us, handed down to us, the shit that they were dealt as far as their you know parenting and stuff, and they knew less than we do.

00:23:47.784 --> 00:23:48.748
You know what I mean.

00:23:48.748 --> 00:23:54.032
So it's like when you put that into perspective and you think about all of the challenges and stuff that they were trying to navigate as well.

00:23:54.032 --> 00:24:03.270
So I really do believe that I don't think our parents are psychopaths or that you know, had bad intentions, but you still look at some of that and it's like there was a lot of stuff that was missing from that.

00:24:03.270 --> 00:24:06.355
Now that we know that that's something and you can do it, don't make excuses.

00:24:06.355 --> 00:24:11.628
Take your kid to go do ice cream or you know whatever it is.

00:24:11.628 --> 00:24:13.200
It doesn't have to be a go throw the ball, but go spend time talking with him.

00:24:13.279 --> 00:24:18.152
Well, that was a conversation I had with Jose was, like you know, dad was working three jobs trying to just feed everybody.

00:24:18.152 --> 00:24:26.146
Like you said, that was a completely different time, yeah, but that's still what you see.

00:24:26.146 --> 00:24:28.496
Yeah, which then transfers into well, I got to work 80 hours a day too, to try to that's what I know.

00:24:28.496 --> 00:24:31.104
Yeah, so you just follow along with that same path.

00:24:31.384 --> 00:24:32.930
Do you feel like you're breaking that now, though?

00:24:32.930 --> 00:24:37.760
Do you feel like, when you realize that I feel like you're so much better about that, I've had that conversation a few times.

00:24:37.780 --> 00:24:51.770
You know, like when I get pissed off at work and I'm like I'm done with this, I go back in a truck very easily and then of course you know the voice of reason over here goes, yeah, but then you're not here at two o'clock for a basketball game or whatever it is, and it's like, okay, yeah, you're right, it's not that bad.

00:24:59.910 --> 00:25:03.153
It's a, it's a sacrifice to be 18 in January.

00:25:03.153 --> 00:25:04.596
It's crazy.

00:25:04.596 --> 00:25:06.827
I've never been an adult without having children.

00:25:06.827 --> 00:25:10.564
So just so you guys know, watch out, I might go off the rails.

00:25:10.564 --> 00:25:11.346
You just never know.

00:25:11.346 --> 00:25:12.788
We're ready, I know you are.

00:25:12.970 --> 00:25:13.832
You're a wake-up.

00:25:13.832 --> 00:25:14.942
Aren't you already off the rails?

00:25:15.202 --> 00:25:19.012
Well, a little bit, it's just a spur, yeah, okay.

00:25:19.012 --> 00:25:21.034
So why do you think that?

00:25:21.034 --> 00:25:21.233
That?

00:25:21.233 --> 00:25:24.996
Do you have that happen often where stuff like that hits you, or was that a newer thing for?

00:25:25.016 --> 00:25:28.096
you that was a newer thing, okay, okay, that happens to me all the time.

00:25:28.136 --> 00:25:33.144
Now, that's what I call like opening pandora's box because absolutely because I'm here for it, you know and it's like I've never been.

00:25:33.507 --> 00:25:37.000
I've never been at a place before where I'm like, okay, I'll receive this shit.

00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:42.809
And now I'm just like, bring it on, you know, and when uncomfortable shit hits me, I'll just start working through it and I'm not going to push it back down.

00:25:42.809 --> 00:25:47.708
And that's what my MO has always been If there's something uncomfortable, you just push it down and away, down and away.

00:25:47.708 --> 00:26:10.180
But when you realize you're dragging all of that shit around behind you, whether you realize it or not, if you actually just feel that, if there's, if that's actionable intelligence where you can do something different than make that change or do something right and then release that shit so that it doesn't weigh you down, you know, encourage that stuff to come up well, and that that was in like the most unsuspecting spot I could ever imagine.

00:26:10.279 --> 00:26:14.694
You know, I'm in a group with I don't know 12 construction guys.

00:26:14.694 --> 00:26:15.357
Yeah, you know.

00:26:15.357 --> 00:26:17.383
Yeah, three quarters of them are bigger than I am.

00:26:17.383 --> 00:26:22.442
Yeah, and we're in this room and it's like holy shit, just like that.

00:26:22.442 --> 00:26:27.903
It was like this is fucking crazy yeah, yeah but you didn't push it down no, I didn't.

00:26:27.923 --> 00:26:28.344
You've talked.

00:26:28.344 --> 00:26:29.548
You came home when you talked about it.

00:26:29.548 --> 00:26:31.765
You've talked about it numerous times since then.

00:26:31.846 --> 00:26:33.492
Yeah well, and that you used it.

00:26:33.492 --> 00:26:46.165
That's exactly and that's the important thing, right, I think I think understanding that, and that's just even the difference, because I don't even think we realized before that you do push stuff down when it happens, right, it's like the thing with you know, cameron drinking or whatever.

00:26:46.165 --> 00:26:49.787
I'm just going to push that away and not even not doing anything intentionally.

00:26:49.946 --> 00:26:56.883
Just I don't want to do that, I don't it's easier not to deal with exactly that's a boundary and I'm just going to push that away and not even really examine why is that a boundary, you know?

00:26:56.883 --> 00:27:04.194
And it's some of the stuff where it's like stuff that we were parented or stuff that we were dealt, and it's like do I, does that resonate with me, or am I just?

00:27:04.194 --> 00:27:09.945
Is that just a belief that I have based on something that was dealt to me?

00:27:09.945 --> 00:27:10.423
Right, and I don't want to have those.

00:27:10.423 --> 00:27:12.112
I want to examine everything and make certain that that's something that I want.

00:27:12.112 --> 00:27:15.762
I don't want to assume that mom and dad had their shit figured out, because we've all determined that they didn't.

00:27:15.762 --> 00:27:17.468
You know again no offense.

00:27:17.788 --> 00:27:29.744
None of us did I mean so it's that's, that's a whole thing, you know, but really realizing that and then doing something with that.

00:27:29.744 --> 00:27:31.669
Nobody wants to be in this rinse lather repeat every day, you know, or maybe you do.

00:27:31.669 --> 00:27:35.538
I don't want to be in the rinse lather repeat because I understand what it's like to be growing and doing these things and watching people around me doing the same thing.

00:27:35.538 --> 00:27:35.980
It's powerful.

00:27:35.980 --> 00:27:41.192
So when you're in this room of people, was that like a whole conversation that they were having as well?

00:27:47.299 --> 00:27:48.987
Or is that something that just hit you and then you're having a private moment?

00:27:48.987 --> 00:27:49.628
Yeah, no, it was just like I said.

00:27:49.628 --> 00:27:50.009
It was three of us.

00:27:50.009 --> 00:27:52.820
We broke off into groups, four groups of three or whatever that number was, and, like I said, I can't remember the exact content behind.

00:27:52.861 --> 00:28:05.814
It was just coaching co-workers or whatever, through something and it just like I said, it was weird as shit, just hit me like a ton of shit yeah, do you feel like the men that are in your circle, either either work-wise or otherwise, are in tune with their emotions?

00:28:05.834 --> 00:28:06.233
Oh fuck no.

00:28:06.334 --> 00:28:06.974
Okay, okay.

00:28:08.059 --> 00:28:09.570
Like my level of emotion.

00:28:09.612 --> 00:28:10.740
yes, you don't have a level.

00:28:10.900 --> 00:28:12.165
Your level is a zero?

00:28:13.281 --> 00:28:18.130
Maybe I should ask you that question On a scale of 1 to 10 for emotional intelligence where do you think you are?

00:28:18.130 --> 00:28:20.744
Do you understand what emotional intelligence is, With himself or someone else?

00:28:20.785 --> 00:28:24.108
I was going to say say it depends on if it's with myself or someone else it's a whole package.

00:28:24.368 --> 00:28:30.455
So your emotional intelligence on a scale of one to ten, do you understand what emotional yeah, no, absolutely okay, on a scale of one to ten.

00:28:30.455 --> 00:28:30.615
How?

00:28:30.615 --> 00:28:43.171
Where do you think you you fall in that like self-emotional intelligence, is garbage okay, so zero yeah, but like with someone else, it's probably five or six.

00:28:43.471 --> 00:28:45.394
I feel like I'm above average when it comes to.

00:28:45.539 --> 00:28:53.640
But what do you mean when you say for someone else, because it's not so like your emotions are what I'm talking about he's more willing to dig into someone else's garden than his own.

00:28:53.640 --> 00:28:56.458
You could be a co-host on the days that I'm out of here.

00:28:56.458 --> 00:28:58.184
Absolutely, yeah, but it's fascinating.

00:28:58.285 --> 00:29:01.082
Exactly, it's fascinating and it's the same thing though it, and it's the same thing though it's.

00:29:01.082 --> 00:29:02.503
You know we've talked about that.

00:29:02.503 --> 00:29:09.295
You know you look at just like you talking about the deal with Chris and taking you out and getting you separated from the herd.

00:29:09.295 --> 00:29:12.243
Yeah, and it happens all the fucking time.

00:29:12.243 --> 00:29:17.303
You can watch it just like clockwork, but it's the same thing for the shit that you you're working your way through.

00:29:17.303 --> 00:29:23.125
The shit I'm in right now she's in, whatever it's, it's just a fucking trend and everybody's in the same boat.

00:29:23.385 --> 00:29:26.888
Yeah, and the things that people are willing to stick their head in their sand about is baffling.

00:29:27.128 --> 00:29:27.648
It is baffling.

00:29:27.669 --> 00:29:27.749
Like.

00:29:27.749 --> 00:29:42.280
We have a very close friend who lost his son to suicide a couple years ago and right afterwards, the two of them were determined to not lose each other and in the course of the last two years, that's the only thing that they've lost Is each other.

00:29:42.280 --> 00:29:44.567
Yes, to a terrible degree.

00:29:44.567 --> 00:29:47.353
It's ugly, it's very ugly.

00:29:47.353 --> 00:29:48.282
Are they getting divorced?

00:29:48.282 --> 00:29:49.888
No, oh, and they should.

00:29:49.888 --> 00:29:51.094
Yeah, it would be.

00:29:51.494 --> 00:30:00.483
I shouldn't say they should, it would be a much better he has now situation he now has someone else, yeah, that he flaunts in front of her, oh yep, and she?

00:30:00.483 --> 00:30:11.303
She's not strong enough to walk away, when that would be, even if she tried, it would be the best thing that she could do for herself and her girls, cause she's now setting that example.

00:30:11.363 --> 00:30:13.147
And so that's, that's the other problem, right, so?

00:30:13.147 --> 00:30:21.262
It's like when you look back at the example that you use with dad and with you and with John, understanding that that is just stuff that we hand down.

00:30:21.262 --> 00:30:24.471
We have to break that cycle right Because we do know better.

00:30:24.471 --> 00:30:29.131
We know what that effect is with not having parents that were present for stuff like that.

00:30:29.131 --> 00:30:29.853
Do you know what I mean?

00:30:29.853 --> 00:30:31.707
Like that's a big thing.

00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:34.430
But it's easier to recognize it in someone else, of course.

00:30:34.450 --> 00:30:38.530
Well, yeah so emotional intelligence, that's your awareness of other people.

00:30:38.530 --> 00:30:40.262
But like your emotional intelligence about.

00:30:40.262 --> 00:30:41.605
How does that make me feel?

00:30:41.605 --> 00:30:47.801
Processing your own emotions and using your emotions like a compass yeah, that's generous.

00:30:47.801 --> 00:30:49.566
Not good at directions.

00:30:49.566 --> 00:30:51.390
Compass, right, no, no.

00:30:51.891 --> 00:30:52.231
True Norse.

00:30:52.332 --> 00:31:03.634
I know, caitlin, where do you think?

00:31:03.653 --> 00:31:04.836
your emotional intelligence is on a scale of 1 to 10?

00:31:04.836 --> 00:31:05.156
That's rough.

00:31:05.156 --> 00:31:07.019
Brennan just held up one finger, unless that was for something else, and that's COVID.

00:31:07.019 --> 00:31:25.430
No-transcript yeah.

00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:26.862
Would you?

00:31:26.882 --> 00:31:27.224
agree with that.

00:31:27.224 --> 00:31:28.358
I was going to say you looked at the floor.

00:31:28.358 --> 00:31:28.785
What does that mean?

00:31:28.805 --> 00:31:30.289
No, I was looking at the book.

00:31:30.289 --> 00:31:31.273
No, I would agree with that.

00:31:31.273 --> 00:31:36.565
I feel like work has pushed a lot of that or helped with a lot of that.

00:31:37.066 --> 00:31:40.615
The trainings that you never wanted to go to that you're going to and are taking value for.

00:31:41.385 --> 00:31:46.133
Oh, my God, I love this the way he now runs family conversations that are uncomfortable.

00:31:46.453 --> 00:31:47.257
Listen, it's amazing.

00:31:47.257 --> 00:31:48.357
It is amazing though.

00:31:48.357 --> 00:31:53.799
Right, because that's the kind of stuff that they'll remember and that's the kind of stuff that will set them up to be successful adults.

00:31:53.799 --> 00:31:56.699
Right, because you don't want your kids to be like you, right?

00:31:56.699 --> 00:32:03.865
I don't want my kids to be like me when I sit and when I've been doing all of this work for the last handful of years and it's dirty work, right?

00:32:03.865 --> 00:32:10.750
That's the premise of this podcast is being willing to be vulnerable, being willing to talk about the dirty things, because we're all just doing the best that we can.

00:32:11.049 --> 00:32:14.251
We all were dealt whatever level of childhood that we were.

00:32:14.251 --> 00:32:14.551
Right.

00:32:14.551 --> 00:32:17.413
There's things that you can't change as a child because that's just what you're handed.

00:32:17.413 --> 00:32:20.914
Some of us have pretty gross trauma associated with things.

00:32:20.914 --> 00:32:23.517
Some of us, you know wherever your recipe is.

00:32:23.517 --> 00:32:28.960
That makes up who you are, but you're not just going to be dealt that and then go through the rest of your life rinse, lather, repeat.

00:32:28.960 --> 00:32:30.361
You know I mean most people do.

00:32:30.361 --> 00:32:46.414
But when you realize there's another option and it's like I want to be the best version that I can, I want to teach the girls and I want to teach Wiley that like hey, there's a different way to be able to do this and to process this in a healthy way.

00:32:46.414 --> 00:32:58.365
You know, I said the other day I was talking with Belinda and we were talking about I was a baby, when I had babies, right, I couldn't believe that they actually sent me home from the hospital with one and we're like good luck, you know, and then when Brittany got to be old enough, she was very emotional and I did not want to be part of that at all.

00:32:58.365 --> 00:32:59.527
I didn't know how to deal with it.

00:32:59.527 --> 00:33:00.167
I didn't know how to.

00:33:00.167 --> 00:33:10.760
It made me so uncomfortable so I screwed her up, you know, but thank God she's still around and I'm helping repair that, which is very, you know, symbiotic of just all of the things.

00:33:10.760 --> 00:33:17.224
Right.

00:33:17.224 --> 00:33:18.248
And then, emily, I taught you don't feel things.

00:33:18.248 --> 00:33:19.289
If you're strong, right, right, you don't do that.

00:33:19.289 --> 00:33:21.414
And so her now having to break the damage that I did for her.

00:33:21.875 --> 00:33:40.528
And I look at Wiley and it's like I got sober when he was nine years old, maybe, and so he has had a front row seat to this, and that young man is the most emotionally intelligent and most emotionally intelligent young man that I can among anyone that I've met, right, he's.

00:33:40.528 --> 00:33:47.140
He will process emotions as they come up, no matter what that looks like, right, and he's not like a drama queen about it, but he feels his things.

00:33:47.140 --> 00:33:48.425
He's willing to talk about what that is.

00:33:48.425 --> 00:33:49.048
He's an excellent communicator.

00:33:49.048 --> 00:33:50.835
I feel like I should get like a find queen about it, but he feels his things.

00:33:50.835 --> 00:33:51.698
He's willing to talk about what that is.

00:33:51.698 --> 00:33:52.359
He's an excellent communicator.

00:33:52.359 --> 00:33:57.160
I feel like I should get like a finder's fee to whatever wife he ends up with, cause I'm like you're welcome, like that's ridiculous.

00:33:57.160 --> 00:33:58.806
I put so much work into that young man.

00:33:58.846 --> 00:34:12.177
But then Cameron watches from the outside, right, and it's like planting seeds there of how important kind of some of that stuff is, because it seems like the way that your generation was raised for boys was don't be a pussy.

00:34:12.177 --> 00:34:14.320
If you're crying, I'll give you something to cry about.

00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:16.030
Well, you don't need something to cry about.

00:34:16.030 --> 00:34:18.728
You already had something to cry about, right, that wasn't the right way to handle it.

00:34:18.989 --> 00:34:40.340
But if you teach our young boys not to process and not to show emotion, what they do is they push that down and they turn everything into anger and rage, and so every man that was probably in that room that you're talking about has this base layer of anger and rage that they just carry around, which is they just push it down right and when stuff comes up, you just keep adding to that layer and adding to that layer.

00:34:40.340 --> 00:34:41.436
Nothing against how you process things.

00:34:41.436 --> 00:34:42.128
That's just how we were taught, right?

00:34:42.128 --> 00:34:45.871
And I think there's been so much stuff nowadays where we talk about the young girls and let's help the young girls.

00:34:46.373 --> 00:34:52.077
The young boys were brought up in the exact same thing, just with different, messed up things, right.

00:34:52.077 --> 00:34:53.940
So it's like men aren't supposed to show emotion.

00:34:53.940 --> 00:34:54.740
Men aren't supposed to whatever.

00:34:54.740 --> 00:34:55.340
You know what.

00:34:55.340 --> 00:34:59.045
Men are pretty awesome, you know.

00:34:59.045 --> 00:35:11.601
If you have a conversation or a relationship with a man who's in touch with his emotions, it doesn't mean he's a crier or a drop, you know, but understands like what something makes him feel, like something makes him feel like able to have an intelligent conversation about it, like all of those things able to be a role model to his children and teach other people.

00:35:11.601 --> 00:35:13.050
That's powerful shit.

00:35:13.184 --> 00:35:15.545
And bring a totally different perspective, totally different.

00:35:15.545 --> 00:35:23.331
Brennan has talked numerous times about the value of having a member of the opposite sex that you can unload your shit on, that isn't necessarily your spouse.

00:35:23.331 --> 00:35:29.353
Yeah, so that you can go home free to just be yourself instead of unloading that on somebody else?

00:35:29.353 --> 00:35:32.059
Yeah, but it's a totally different conversation between you and I.

00:35:32.318 --> 00:35:39.293
Yeah, then Cameron and I or you and Brennan and yeah yeah, it's totally different and being able to be vulnerable to share the stuff that's like.

00:35:39.626 --> 00:35:41.532
This is the gross stuff that I was thinking about.

00:35:41.532 --> 00:35:42.710
This is the thing that's like.

00:35:42.710 --> 00:35:55.335
There's some pretty fucked up stuff that happens on in in my brain, right, and I know that that's common for at least the people that came from where I came from, specifically you and your brother, right, you know.

00:35:55.335 --> 00:36:04.074
But it's like when you're vulnerable enough to be able to talk about some of that kind of shit, where it's like or I'm remembering something, is this really what was going on with that?

00:36:04.074 --> 00:36:06.753
Or like whatever, any of that is that's powerful shit.

00:36:06.804 --> 00:36:10.755
I don't want to just push it back down and leave that gross stuff in there, let it out, you know, but it's.

00:36:10.755 --> 00:36:45.391
I mean, I find myself in this place where I'm in close relationships with people, where I'm working with people about stuff that happened in their childhood and it would blow your mind, the shit that's coming out and and it's it's powerful shit, right, and it's guys, it's girls, it's stuff's like yeah, that was a fucked up thing that happened when you were a kid and you've built this whole scaffolding system around it to try to protect that so that nobody bumps into that, which is what people's triggers are, right, and the turning things into anger or to rage as young boys, that's just a blanket trigger.

00:36:45.391 --> 00:36:50.257
That's just you guys being defensive, right, and then it's a blanket trigger and a learned trigger.

00:36:50.396 --> 00:36:51.257
And a learned trigger, right.

00:36:51.257 --> 00:36:54.900
And so it's like somebody cuts you off and oh and you get all pissed off.

00:36:54.900 --> 00:36:59.806
Or somebody does what it doesn't even matter what it is right Somebody looks at you wrong, somebody fucking bumps you.

00:36:59.806 --> 00:37:01.869
It's not like, oh, sorry dude, it's like fuck you, what are you?00:37:02.090 --> 00:37:05.793


That's the I see your smile, your little smile, that's turning up.00:37:05.934 --> 00:37:07.695


That's the blanket defensiveness, right.00:37:07.695 --> 00:37:14.012


And so I'm working with cameron on that too, because it's like hey, boss, just so you know I've been here, I've earned a spot, a front row spot, at your table.00:37:14.012 --> 00:37:18.528


I'm tired of having to fucking push through the defensiveness to get to the soft part.00:37:18.528 --> 00:37:19.431


You know what I mean.00:37:19.431 --> 00:37:22.400


I don't want to do that anymore.00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:24.085


You know it's a lot of work.00:37:24.085 --> 00:37:25.306


Would you say that?00:37:25.306 --> 00:37:26.509


Would you say that that's fair?00:37:26.568 --> 00:37:51.947


and I would also say you've gotten much better and you've helped me get a lot better about combating that emotion to a normal level because, um, lots of childhood, your, you had this yin and the yin and yang one was emotion all the time over the top yeah, and the other was not yeah, and so then when there was anything emotional crying or anything it just shuts down.00:37:52.067 --> 00:38:08.878


Yeah, you can just see it right, you can physically see it on his person he has now realized that, we've all realized it, and I now realize that if I can have a conversation with him or anyone else and attempt to at least keep the most, not out- yes, it's out yep, but at an at a manageable level.00:38:08.878 --> 00:38:11.373


The message comes across so much better.00:38:11.373 --> 00:38:13.373


And it's heard so much better on the other side, right.00:38:14.085 --> 00:38:15.572


Yeah, but also realizing, right.00:38:15.572 --> 00:38:20.751


So again, it's one of the same things that I was talking about, about I'm bringing something from 25 years ago that I don't even realize.00:38:20.751 --> 00:38:25.615


So same thing You're bringing something from your childhood, about emotion looked very messy to you, right?00:38:25.664 --> 00:38:27.452


And you shut down about it, I'm more aware of it though.00:38:27.472 --> 00:38:29.077


I know, but then do something about it, you know what.00:38:29.077 --> 00:38:33.592


I mean Because she shouldn't have to tailor hers, because she earned every right to be able to do that.00:38:33.592 --> 00:38:37.831


If she's processing her emotions in a regular way, your wife is not a drama queen.00:38:37.851 --> 00:38:38.539


I've never seen anything.00:38:38.539 --> 00:38:38.945


No, absolutely not.00:38:39.326 --> 00:38:43.108


Right, she's literally like the coolest person on the planet as far as that stuff is concerned.00:38:43.128 --> 00:38:45.572


But like level instead.00:38:45.632 --> 00:38:47.735


Of no, for for sure, absolutely for sure.00:38:47.735 --> 00:38:56.389


I mean, you gotta you gotta meet in the middle on that one for sure but you also realizing and not letting that be something that shuts you down and makes you want to lean into that instead.00:38:56.389 --> 00:38:57.231


You know what I mean.00:38:57.231 --> 00:39:06.731


I'm telling cameron like, hey, when I'm having whatever and I'm surly I need you to walk through that and just come hold me, and he's like, yeah, but you're not, you're pretty porcupine, I don't give a shit you know, what I?00:39:06.771 --> 00:39:08.333


Yeah, there's demons in there and whatever.00:39:08.333 --> 00:39:10.438


I need you to help me with that, I help you with yours.00:39:10.458 --> 00:39:11.318


We don't want it under the rug.00:39:11.338 --> 00:39:17.893


We don't want it under the rug, exactly, absolutely, and that's and that's a huge part of that right, that's a really powerful situation to be able to do that.00:39:17.893 --> 00:39:18.838


That's you know.00:39:18.838 --> 00:39:41.802


You talking about that whole rug thing, when, when we had the thing a couple of, do you know I've I have a very I've had traditionally a very a relationship with you where I I don't think I really realized wanting to present like I'm harder than I am.00:39:41.802 --> 00:39:42.983


Do you know what I mean?00:39:42.983 --> 00:39:53.219


Just, you know, hanging with you and Tony and you guys are my guys and I, just I love our relationship, all of ours, and I don't want to have that.00:39:53.219 --> 00:39:54.043


I don't want to be a pussy.00:39:54.043 --> 00:39:54.726


You know what I mean.00:39:54.726 --> 00:39:57.320


But then I look at some of that and it's like that's okay.00:39:57.320 --> 00:39:57.945


You know what I mean.00:39:57.945 --> 00:40:00.067


It's okay to process this stuff and exactly.00:40:00.367 --> 00:40:06.713


And so for me to call you and say this hurt my feelings and I knew that there was no intent in any of that, but I didn't want it.00:40:06.713 --> 00:40:13.704


I had to say that for me, not because I needed an apology, not because I needed whatever, but if I didn't do it it was going to be a rock under the rug for me.00:40:13.704 --> 00:40:15.971


Maybe it was little, but I don't want any.00:40:15.971 --> 00:40:17.554


I want shit clean.00:40:17.554 --> 00:40:18.257


You know what I mean.00:40:18.257 --> 00:40:20.548


I want it to be clean so that there's none of that.00:40:20.949 --> 00:40:22.193


That took a lot for me.00:40:22.193 --> 00:40:24.318


I mean, like it seems so simple.00:40:24.318 --> 00:40:33.751


It took like on a scale of one to 10, like an eight for me to call you guys and have that conversation.00:40:33.751 --> 00:40:33.967


It was a hard conversation.00:40:33.967 --> 00:40:35.172


It was a hard conversation to have, but it definitely needed to happen.00:40:35.172 --> 00:40:35.436


But it needed to.00:40:35.367 --> 00:40:49.577


And so it's like I know that when we were having it and it was just like I think you guys were probably taken aback when I was saying and I was taking aback that I was saying cause I don't want to say this, something that's there.00:40:49.577 --> 00:40:53.329


Say something about it right, get it resolved, regardless of how.00:40:53.329 --> 00:40:58.139


That is because you guys are one of the most important relationships that I have, you know for sure.00:40:58.139 --> 00:41:18.795


So it's neat to be able to grow with you guys right and to like watch you say those kind of things, because, yeah, we don't have to all sit around and hold hands and sing kumbaya, but being able to realize, okay, I want to be the best father that I can, I want to be the best husband that I can, I want to be the best friend, I want to be the best version of me that I can right like you.00:41:18.795 --> 00:41:20.547


Don't want to have that piss and vinegar.00:41:20.588 --> 00:41:26.490


That's just acid in your stomach and anger and whatever or maybe you do, maybe you love that, maybe sometimes, maybe you want that forever.00:41:26.490 --> 00:41:28.936


You know, I used to tell cameron I was like I.00:41:28.936 --> 00:41:31.943


I used to say, like something about softening, and he's like I really don't like that.00:41:31.943 --> 00:41:32.925


And I said, how about sharpening?00:41:32.925 --> 00:41:34.409


And he's like, okay, I like that better.00:41:34.409 --> 00:41:37.326


And it's like, yeah, because you learn things as you go and as you.00:41:37.326 --> 00:41:38.548


Okay, that doesn't feel good.00:41:38.548 --> 00:41:39.271


I don't want to do that.00:41:39.271 --> 00:41:47.693


I don't want to relay to my son that he can't have emotions and that he needs to just turn all of his shit into rage and anger as well, because we know what that looks like in grown ass men.00:41:47.793 --> 00:41:57.474


It's not a great look and if we can't have those hard conversations with the people we love the most, yes, why would we give someone else the pleasure of having that when we can't even do it with the people that we love?00:41:57.474 --> 00:41:58.356


I know that mean the most to us.00:41:58.396 --> 00:42:01.304


I know which is crazy, right, but that happens all the time.00:42:01.304 --> 00:42:05.030


All the time I look at people and I talk to go.00:42:05.030 --> 00:42:10.199


I'm not going to say anything or I'm not, whatever my I don't want to have surface level relationships.00:42:10.199 --> 00:42:11.079


I just don't.00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:12.503


I'm not interested in that at all.00:42:12.503 --> 00:42:14.005


I want to have the hard conversations.00:42:14.005 --> 00:42:16.471


I want to know what makes you tick.00:42:16.471 --> 00:42:17.231


You know what I mean.00:42:17.231 --> 00:42:19.277


How was your caitlin?00:42:19.277 --> 00:42:20.347


How was your childhood?00:42:20.347 --> 00:42:23.534


Growing up, were your parents in tune with their emotions and set a good?00:42:23.554 --> 00:42:23.896


example.00:42:23.896 --> 00:42:24.545


For that.00:42:24.545 --> 00:42:33.070


He was an alcoholic and he was angry all the time, but I with the exception of that, because he wasn't around that much he was working his ass off for the rest of us.00:42:33.070 --> 00:42:34.795


Um, it was awesome.00:42:34.795 --> 00:42:40.199


Like I hear a lot of other stories and I have almost survivor's guilt of my childhood.00:42:40.199 --> 00:42:43.188


I have great memories it's.00:42:43.449 --> 00:42:45.715


It's interesting because I told cameron the other day.00:42:45.715 --> 00:42:48.186


I said I don't know very many women who haven't been sexually abused.00:42:48.186 --> 00:42:54.547


I said I think I can count on my hand too, and you're one of them, and that I don't understand the survivor's guilt part of that.00:42:54.547 --> 00:42:55.208


You know what I mean?00:42:55.208 --> 00:43:00.644


Um, obviously, but uh, I know that that's a real thing.00:43:00.784 --> 00:43:01.885


It is yeah.00:43:02.047 --> 00:43:02.967


Yeah, it is.00:43:02.967 --> 00:43:04.248


I shouldn't feel guilty for that.00:43:04.248 --> 00:43:04.809


No, you shouldn't.00:43:04.809 --> 00:43:05.188


You sh.00:43:05.188 --> 00:43:06.010


You absolutely shouldn't.00:43:06.010 --> 00:43:10.373


You know and tell me so you guys have three girls, obviously.00:43:10.373 --> 00:43:20.561


How do you teach them or prepare them or try to help protect them in that situation, so that you know, because you can't unring that bell?00:43:20.561 --> 00:43:22.467


We all know that, right.00:43:22.467 --> 00:43:23.952


So do you understand what I'm asking?00:43:23.952 --> 00:43:25.291


Okay, is that a?00:43:25.291 --> 00:43:26.045


Are those conversations?00:43:26.085 --> 00:43:26.650


I love your face.00:43:26.650 --> 00:43:27.114


Like what?00:43:27.114 --> 00:43:28.023


No, it was.00:43:28.043 --> 00:43:30.873


more of Her question was fair, it was more of what's your answer going to be to that?00:43:30.873 --> 00:43:32.505


Because I just threatened to kill whoever touches them.00:43:32.505 --> 00:43:36.052


I know, but here's the whole thing, like that's not the, that doesn't help them anymore.00:43:36.052 --> 00:43:36.152


No.00:43:36.945 --> 00:43:49.233


You know, here's the thing when I really started getting in tune with what that looked like, right, Because I of the sexual trauma that I had by people that I knew, by people, like all of the things.00:43:49.233 --> 00:43:54.458


It's pretty gross and I just didn't recognize that because it was like it's fine and I just kept pushing all of this stuff down.00:43:54.458 --> 00:44:02.454


But when you put it into a context of what if that was happening to my daughter, I put myself in okay, I was 13 when that happened, or I was 15 when that happened, or whatever.00:44:02.454 --> 00:44:05.889


What would I do if that was happening to Emily or a Britney or to whatever?00:44:05.889 --> 00:44:09.795


Right, you want to kill them but it's like and not just the girls not just the girls.00:44:09.836 --> 00:44:11.699


A thousand percent happens to the boys, all of the things.00:44:11.699 --> 00:44:13.230


But it's like, okay, so I read.00:44:13.230 --> 00:44:15.561


I read a book when I started processing all of this stuff.00:44:15.561 --> 00:44:31.521


That kind of sparked that for me, and the gal was talking about an uncle that had raped her and had sexually assaulted her for a while and she said it wasn't really the uncle that I held all of the resentment and all of the anger for, it was my mom and my aunties, who didn't fucking tell me to watch out for that.00:44:31.641 --> 00:44:32.141


You know what I mean.00:44:32.141 --> 00:44:41.172


And that don't listen and don't allow that to be something that he says don't tell your parents or I'm going to this, or that come to me like right away, right, cause you're not going to be able to protect that.00:44:41.172 --> 00:44:41.815


It doesn't happen.00:44:41.815 --> 00:44:47.833


Potentially Right, but it isn't the actual act of that that fucks people up, it's the shame that goes around it afterwards.00:44:47.833 --> 00:44:48.673


Do you know what I mean?00:44:48.673 --> 00:44:50.817


And shame doesn't get to live where the light is.00:44:51.177 --> 00:44:54.266


So having those conversations, no matter what fucked up stuff happens, right.00:44:54.266 --> 00:45:01.172


So it's like how do we teach our girls, how do we teach our children, boys and girls, what the appropriate stuff is?00:45:01.172 --> 00:45:01.974


You know what I mean.00:45:01.974 --> 00:45:13.239


What is appropriate as far as, yes, having age appropriate conversations about these are your privates, these are the names of your privates, these are this is you don't have to go hug people just because somebody says so.00:45:13.239 --> 00:45:15.632


Remember, we always used to say, oh, go hug and you have to go do that.00:45:15.632 --> 00:45:18.626


I love Emily for that example, because you know she's like.00:45:18.626 --> 00:45:22.471


You know, my daughter, my middle daughter, is like uh, I don't, I'm not, I don't have any hugs today.00:45:22.851 --> 00:45:23.351


Exactly but.00:45:23.351 --> 00:45:27.295


But I respect the shit out of that she only wants a genuine hug she does not want.00:45:27.376 --> 00:45:29.117


she never has wanted an obligatory hug.00:45:29.137 --> 00:45:32.481


No exactly, and she understands her voice and will use it right.00:45:32.481 --> 00:45:43.534


And we all have work to do on that whole thing, because I think we still all kind of stay silent in certain things rather than speaking up and making sure that we protect ourselves, and her voice has gotten so much louder it is, it has, and it's beautiful.00:45:43.664 --> 00:45:44.686


It's such a beautiful thing.00:45:44.766 --> 00:45:54.000


So it's like you know, but I want to have that conversation about younger, our younger people and saying, okay, we can't fix it after the fact, we can't rehabilitate these monsters that do that.00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:58.766


You know what I mean.00:45:58.766 --> 00:46:04.027


So it's like how do we, how do we figure out and I will find someone who's the right person to come on and have this conversation but how do we protect our kids so that we don't have to have this?00:46:04.027 --> 00:46:10.556


Whether it's survivor guilt or whether it's shit that happened, whether it's something that's in a family, right, because I've talked to all of these people.00:46:10.596 --> 00:46:13.480


I have a friend who she's telling me about her cut.00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:15.911


She had cousins that came to live with her because their parents died.00:46:15.911 --> 00:46:16.693


She's a teenager.00:46:16.693 --> 00:46:19.590


The one cousin was raping her for for years.00:46:19.590 --> 00:46:21.114


She went and told her parents.00:46:21.114 --> 00:46:22.338


They didn't believe her.00:46:22.338 --> 00:46:23.907


They took the other kid's side.00:46:23.907 --> 00:46:30.677


She's talking about the boys that were reading her journal and making fun of her when it was happening and it's just like do you know how fucked up that girl is?00:46:30.677 --> 00:46:31.639


You know what I mean.00:46:31.639 --> 00:46:34.932


And and we don't like she doesn't have a place to turn inside.00:46:34.932 --> 00:46:36.932


Her family was the one that was doing it.00:46:37.105 --> 00:46:39.269


And then not defending her was also in her family.00:46:40.853 --> 00:46:41.835


We're safe spaces.00:46:42.255 --> 00:46:42.577


Exactly.00:46:42.577 --> 00:46:43.398


There's no safe space.00:46:43.398 --> 00:46:47.271


Do you know what I mean?00:46:47.271 --> 00:46:48.193


It's like that's crazy.00:46:48.193 --> 00:46:50.818


I've been claustrophobic for my entire life.00:46:50.818 --> 00:46:53.510


I didn't know why I wouldn't go in the cave with you guys.00:46:53.510 --> 00:46:55.291


Remember when we were up north and I wouldn't go in there?00:46:55.291 --> 00:46:57.393


I don't like to do MRIs, all of this stuff.00:46:57.393 --> 00:47:01.074


I had an MRI a couple months ago and I thought let's grow up, let's start.00:47:01.074 --> 00:47:02.157


I have 45 minutes in here.00:47:02.157 --> 00:47:11.460


Let's literally figured out where that stemmed from, and it was because there was a place that I had been sexually assaulted that was very unsafe.00:47:11.460 --> 00:47:14.842


Everything about it felt unsafe, but it was dark and it was in a you know whatever.00:47:15.302 --> 00:47:17.724


And I said I'm not doing this anymore, right?00:47:17.724 --> 00:47:23.164


So if you guys want to go to that cave, you fucking let me know, I'm in, I'm in, I'm not allowing that shit to do that.00:47:23.164 --> 00:47:29.717


But if you didn't realize, you would just take something from when you were a child for stuff, and a lot of it comes from what is your safety right?00:47:29.717 --> 00:47:31.860


Where is your other stuff that comes into that?00:47:31.860 --> 00:47:33.083


I just, I don't know.00:47:33.083 --> 00:47:48.375


I think people needing to have those conversations because there's no shame in that, you know, but for me, I spent a lot of time having a lot of shame associated with any of that kind of stuff, with how Chris treated me and I didn't defend myself and I didn't, I wasn't strong enough, right.00:47:48.375 --> 00:47:52.972


That makes me feel like a pussy, you know, and I don't want to do that, but it is what it is.00:47:52.972 --> 00:47:55.711


Like you said, it was my, my way out and it was whatever.00:47:55.711 --> 00:47:58.844


So I don't know, I think I think you felt it was your safer.00:48:00.527 --> 00:48:05.692


It was, it wasn't safe, but there was no safety in any of that kind of stuff for me, so really being able to understand that.00:48:05.692 --> 00:48:07.673


And then, okay, how do I make a difference?00:48:07.673 --> 00:48:15.161


How do I have the uncomfortable conversations where people can be an example and you can say you know, yes, this shit happens.00:48:15.161 --> 00:48:16.007


What do we do about it?00:48:16.007 --> 00:48:16.407


How do we?00:48:16.407 --> 00:48:31.594


How do we help our, our young people, how do we help our old, older people, our people that are adults, that have never processed this stuff, still think shit was their fault or that you know it's not okay, it's never okay, or not believe what someone tells them, that you know it's not okay, it's never okay, or not believe what someone tells them.00:48:31.594 --> 00:48:32.034


Absolutely right.00:48:32.034 --> 00:48:33.117


I mean, we are supposed to champion.00:48:33.117 --> 00:48:33.739


Can you imagine that?00:48:33.739 --> 00:48:36.467


Can you imagine one of your daughters coming to?00:48:36.668 --> 00:48:37.972


you and saying something and you've like You're full of shit.00:48:38.012 --> 00:48:39.896


It's outrageous, but here's what I'll tell you.00:48:39.896 --> 00:48:49.699


That happens all the time, right, I have been on a mission, and not just with this podcast, but I lead with vulnerability because I feel like it does so much good.00:48:49.699 --> 00:48:57.597


You know, as I'm unpacking things and as I'm whatever it's like, I'm not afraid to tell my story, for whatever it is, and I'm not a victim in this.00:48:57.597 --> 00:49:01.487


This is just my story, right, but I think if you can tell that and if it can help other people, there's value in that.00:49:01.487 --> 00:49:14.891


You know to be able to do that, though, and like be able to do that, everyone shares back, right, because they feel comfortable doing that, and the stuff that I've had shared back with me, it's why we're sitting here right now.00:49:15.172 --> 00:49:15.673


You know what I mean.00:49:15.864 --> 00:49:16.929


We've got to do something about it.00:49:16.929 --> 00:49:24.630


We've got to have conversations, we've got to arm moms of kiddos that can have age-appropriate conversations, because the monsters are everywhere and it's getting worse.00:49:24.630 --> 00:49:26.876


It's not getting better, it's getting worse.00:49:26.876 --> 00:49:39.273


So being able to understand or to protect yourself or to know what to do in that situation, instead of your children are getting groomed by adults and you don't even know what's happening and they wouldn't know what to look for anyways, you know what I mean.00:49:39.273 --> 00:49:42.454


Like not cool, that's outrageous, you know.00:49:43.625 --> 00:49:43.766


No.00:49:43.766 --> 00:49:47.552


At one of the Moxie events I remember talking about all of the shit.00:49:47.552 --> 00:49:50.958


And we can make that shit affect us in no matter what.00:49:50.958 --> 00:49:57.590


We can turn it into the fertilizer for the flower that we're going to turn into, or we can just wallow in it, and we can't.00:49:57.590 --> 00:49:58.894


Yeah, yeah.00:49:59.365 --> 00:50:08.027


It's pretty powerful when you realize that you have the power to choose which way that's going to affect you and as much as we've all said how much our parents have affected us.00:50:08.487 --> 00:50:13.632


if we can see it in ourselves and make ourselves that much better examples for our kids, that's huge.00:50:13.632 --> 00:50:14.952


Think what they're going to do, I know.00:50:15.253 --> 00:50:21.478


Exactly right, because we were just dealt whatever they had that they handed down, which is the shit from their parents.00:50:21.478 --> 00:50:23.659


I mean, think about how mom and dad were raised.00:50:23.659 --> 00:50:26.481


That's all they were doing is just taking that.00:50:26.481 --> 00:50:29.186


Dad's dad was obviously never around.00:50:29.186 --> 00:50:31.976


He didn't realize how that was affecting us, that he was MIA.00:50:31.976 --> 00:50:33.552


I didn't have a relationship with our dad.00:50:33.552 --> 00:50:34.851


I didn't know who he was.00:50:35.224 --> 00:50:39.273


Well, and I think it depends too, on which the birth order comes into play there too, do you?00:50:39.996 --> 00:50:41.137


Tell me more, say more.00:50:42.164 --> 00:50:42.686


First kid.00:50:42.686 --> 00:50:44.994


Definitely as a parent, you're learning.00:50:45.295 --> 00:50:45.396


Yeah.00:50:45.795 --> 00:50:56.400


So I mean you're trying to figure out that shit show and then you get to the second kid and obviously at that point you've had some practice at it, so you're a little bit better at doing all these things and passing that stuff down.00:50:56.400 --> 00:51:01.813


So third one you're starting to get tired, so maybe you're starting to revert back to the first one.00:51:01.813 --> 00:51:04.552


Okay, by the fourth one, it's all over.00:51:05.186 --> 00:51:07.630


So poor Tony had no chance at number five.00:51:08.492 --> 00:51:10.476


Number four it definitely didn't go back to number one.00:51:10.476 --> 00:51:11.378


Yeah, yeah.00:51:15.704 --> 00:51:18.777


Well, and also realizing, like there was not birth control associated with that, like whether mom wanted to have five kids or not have five kids.00:51:18.777 --> 00:51:21.913


There weren't choices, you know, not for her parents, not for her.00:51:21.913 --> 00:51:23.351


You know we get to choose.00:51:23.351 --> 00:51:25.987


Do we want to have how many kids, and like what does that look like?00:51:25.987 --> 00:51:27.748


This wasn't that long ago.00:51:27.748 --> 00:51:30.351


Right, our parents are only 70.00:51:30.351 --> 00:51:32.853


That's not that long ago in the grand scheme of things.00:51:32.853 --> 00:51:36.076


But if we can say, okay, we know better, let's do better.00:51:36.076 --> 00:51:40.539


When my kids come to me now or anybody drop what I'm doing, I'll give you my full attention.00:51:40.539 --> 00:51:42.762


There's nothing more important that I need to be working on.00:51:42.762 --> 00:51:43.262


That's work.00:51:43.262 --> 00:51:44.766


It doesn't matter.00:51:44.766 --> 00:51:46.268


My family is the first thing, that's most important.00:51:46.268 --> 00:51:53.648


I did not always feel like that, you know, and for that I can either feel horrible about that or I can just I didn't know better and that's where I was with stuff.00:51:53.648 --> 00:51:54.391


You know what.00:51:54.411 --> 00:51:56.096


I mean Not making excuses, but your example was the hustle.00:51:56.096 --> 00:51:57.831


The example you looked up to was the hustle.00:51:57.831 --> 00:51:59.250


Yeah, that, I mean both of you.00:51:59.344 --> 00:52:14.356


That was very much what you what you emulated was your dad's part of him working all the time, yeah, and didn't want to acknowledge or embrace what that did, yeah.00:52:14.356 --> 00:52:18.090


On the other side, yeah, well, it's the hustle and it's that plays into the fact of not wanting your kids to have to go through what you went through yeah.00:52:18.110 --> 00:52:21.139


So what is freedom to you, sorry?00:52:21.139 --> 00:52:31.777


Money exactly, and meat, no, no, no, she's gross no, not that what I don't okay, let's let the freezer's full of meat weirdo.00:52:31.777 --> 00:52:39.407


Um, yes, it's interesting to me to, to have the, the money thing come out as a freedom, because I always thought that that was freedom to me too.00:52:39.407 --> 00:52:43.637


It's not, it's not, and so once you realize that, though, it changes the entire game.00:52:43.637 --> 00:52:44.628


Well, you know.00:52:44.628 --> 00:52:46.172


So what's freedom to you now?00:52:46.311 --> 00:52:50.713


well, it's still money, but okay, what a different level.00:52:50.753 --> 00:52:58.159


It is yeah, jose, and I had another conversation here not too long ago in my office, talking about you know, he comes in and he's like you know, I don't know what to do.00:52:58.159 --> 00:53:01.911


These operators are pussies now you know, that was his exact words and I'm like I get it.00:53:01.911 --> 00:53:04.728


I said he said it's just this younger generation.00:53:04.728 --> 00:53:06.971


So we kind of talked to you a little bit and I said but think about that, jose.00:53:06.971 --> 00:53:08.632


I said it's our fault.00:53:08.632 --> 00:53:11.876


I said you're a parent, I'm a parent.00:53:11.876 --> 00:53:21.297


Your dad came I can't remember if he said it was his dad or his grandpa came over from Mexico, like, literally, swim across river, worked so his dad could have better.00:53:21.987 --> 00:53:23.570


His dad worked so he could have better.00:53:23.570 --> 00:53:25.797


And I said you're doing the same thing to your kids.00:53:25.797 --> 00:53:27.005


I said it is our fault.00:53:27.005 --> 00:53:29.590


People, our age at this generation is fucking useless.00:53:29.590 --> 00:53:35.949


I said we have pushed so hard to make it to where they don't have to want for anything and he's like exactly.00:53:35.949 --> 00:53:49.556


He's like I didn't want my kids to have to shop at goodwill or walmart and I'm like bingo, yeah, that is exactly what it is and we didn't want them to be uncomfortable, and so we took that away from them but the problem with that is if you look at like a butterfly that's having to struggle to get out of the the cocoon.00:53:49.617 --> 00:53:52.463


If you never have to struggle, you're not gonna make it.00:53:52.463 --> 00:53:57.882


You're not gonna make it absolutely you know what I mean, unfortunately, or maybe you will, but it's like I don't know.00:53:57.882 --> 00:53:58.746


I don't know what it looks like.00:53:58.746 --> 00:54:00.068


I mean, time's just gonna keep going.00:54:00.068 --> 00:54:07.811


So whatever that looks like, I don't know, we'll see, we'll see, well, anyways, so we are getting close to our time.00:54:07.811 --> 00:54:12.739


I want to thank you guys for coming on and being willing to talk about Well thanks for having us.00:54:12.885 --> 00:54:15.454


Yeah, being willing to talk about the hard things.00:54:15.454 --> 00:54:39.532


So every week I pull up a May I Suggest, and it's just generally something that comes from our topic, and I think I even used last week the one for emotional intelligence but I really feel like being willing to look at yourself in the mirror and kind of realize where you are and put some things in place, for what that looks like is really important or not, you know or don't.00:54:39.532 --> 00:54:44.304


If you have suggestions or questions, please send us an email.00:54:44.304 --> 00:54:48.175


Our email address is ladies at letsgetnakedpodcastcom.00:54:48.175 --> 00:54:53.353


If this podcast isn't your jam, I'm not sure why you're still tuned in, because it's been a full hour.00:54:53.353 --> 00:54:54.945


Uh, but we don't need to hear about that.00:54:54.945 --> 00:54:56.891


Just change the channel and find something that's more your speed.00:54:56.891 --> 00:54:58.775


Um, that's it.00:54:58.775 --> 00:54:59.525


That's a wrap, guys.00:54:59.525 --> 00:55:09.012


I'd love to help you get vulnerable.00:55:09.012 --> 00:55:10.152


Let's get naked.